IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

While some people believe that children need pressure from parents to develop, others disagree by agruing that parental pressure is unnecessary. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #children #pressure #parents
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is an abundance of methods which help
children
Use synonyms
 improve themselves. It is often said that offspring need to be pressured by their
parents
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
, lots of people agree with the opposite idea.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both views and explain my opinion. On the one hand, parental
pressure
Use synonyms
 has its own pros and cons. There are several pieces of evidence which are proved that tension from
parents
Use synonyms
 could have a positive influence on their
children
Use synonyms
. The major one is students tend to be easily aware of their ambition and objections by being pressured by their
parents
Use synonyms
.
Due to
Linking Words
 the fact that
children
Use synonyms
 spend most of their time surrounded by their mothers and fathers, they tend to be attracted to their
parents
Use synonyms
' thoughts and actions.
However
Linking Words
, the advantage only appears when
this
Linking Words
 method is used in the right way, if not, there will be counteraction. Specifically, under too much parental
pressure
Use synonyms
, offspring might have depression and lose their self-esteem and their self-confidence.
Thus
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 way of teaching
children
Use synonyms
 still causes some
parents
Use synonyms
 concerns.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, I have a tendency to agree that it is insignificant when
parents
Use synonyms
 put
pressure
Use synonyms
 on their
children
Use synonyms
. In order to make offspring become a better version of themselves, their mothers and fathers have to boost their self-assured and there are plenty of solutions to solve
this
Linking Words
 problem without using
pressure
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as encouraging and accompanying. They could bring the same result as
pressure
Use synonyms
 but they do not have side-effects.
In addition
Linking Words
,
children
Use synonyms
 tend to feel relieved and stress-free under support and not all
children
Use synonyms
 can deal with stress and
pressure
Use synonyms
, their mental and emotional health could be easily destroyed by their
parents
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
parents
Use synonyms
 have an impactful influence on their
children
Use synonyms
 and they should choose suitable methods to help their own sons and daughters improve. In my opinion, a stressful way of teaching is not easy to target the objection and it is hard to use,
therefore
Linking Words
 a stress-free one could be the best choice.
Submitted by chautran13012006 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • intrinsic motivation
  • self-identity
  • psychological well-being
  • academic performance
  • essential skills
  • self-discipline
  • negative consequences
  • intrinsic motivation
  • creativity
  • independent thinking
  • love for learning
  • external expectations
  • sustainable success
  • balance between guidance and pressure
  • autonomy
  • parents' wisdom and experience
  • sense of independence and responsibility
What to do next:
Look at other essays: