IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

More and more people want to buy clothes, cars and other items with famous brands. What are the reasons? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Lots of
people
Use synonyms
 turn to pursue luxury
brands
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of only useful and affordable goods in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
daily life,
such
Linking Words
 as clothes、cars and other items.
In
Change preposition
From
show examples
 my perspective,
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon indicates the positive changes
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 various. On the one hand,
With
Fix capitalization
with
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
economic growth，
people
Use synonyms
not
Verb problem
are not
show examples
 only satisfied with the existing lifestyle ,
such
Linking Words
 as eating、sleeping，but
also
Linking Words
 keen
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 emotional value：showing the social status or
doing
Verb problem
making
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social contact. Under these
requirement
Fix the agreement mistake
requirements
show examples
，buying the famous
brands
Use synonyms
 is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 good choice to match them. If someone
drive
Correct subject-verb agreement
drives
show examples
 a BMW
car
Punctuation problem
car,
show examples
then
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 will consider that he is a wealthy
Use synonyms
people
Fix the agreement mistake
person
show examples
 in China.
People
Use synonyms
 always
corresponding
Wrong verb form
correspond
show examples
 with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
enthusiasm and
friendly
Replace the word
friendliness
show examples
，
expecially
Correct your spelling
especially
 in the consuming place.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the famous
brands
Use synonyms
 always have
it
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 unique
characteristic
Fix the agreement mistake
characteristics
show examples
, just like the good quality
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the clothes or the secret
machine
Check wording
apply
show examples
engine for the car.
This
Linking Words
 represents the taste for the
life
Check wording
apply
show examples
quality when
people
Use synonyms
 who getting wealthy. The famous
brands
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 have the
motivate
Replace the word
motivation
show examples
 to research and
development
Replace the word
develop
show examples
 more delicate and innovative
commodity
Fix the agreement mistake
commodities
show examples
 for their VIP
customs
Replace the word
customers
show examples
. These
circulation
Fix the agreement mistake
circulations
show examples
 will advance the progress of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human society，because lots of huge changes
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
originate from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
daily life. As far as I am concerned,
Using
Fix capitalization
using
show examples
 famous
brands
Use synonyms
 his it significant meaning for some
people
Use synonyms
，
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
there
show examples
 is no doubt that it has
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
show examples
 influence. But it
only
Verb problem
is only
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 personal
consume
Replace the word
consumer
show examples
 choice for maybe a small range
wealthy
Change preposition
of wealthy
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 and some
people
Use synonyms
 who
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
 quality
Change preposition
of lift
show examples
lift
Use the right word
life
show examples
pursue
Replace the word
pursuit
show examples
.

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task response
State a clear view in the first line and stay with it. Give 2 main reasons and finish with a short conclusion that links back to your view.
coherence
Link ideas with simple words like 'also', 'but', and 'for example'. Give each paragraph one main idea and finish with a small tie to the last idea.
grammar
There are many word form and verb mistakes. Check subject-verb and noun forms, and use the simple past or present where needed.
structure
Use a clear plan: intro, two body paragraphs, and a short conclusion. Begin with your main view, then explain, then end with a closing sentence.
lexical resource
Use common, everyday words. Avoid phrases that are not easy. Try to keep 'significant', 'progress' or 'delicate' simple or replace them with 'big' and 'new'.
content
The writer shows a view and gives some reasons.
content
The use of a real life example (BMW) shows how brands can affect views.
content
Some attempt to compare sides is shown.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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