IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

More and more people want to buy clothes, cars and other items with famous brands. What are the reasons? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Nowadays, an increasing number of people are drawn to
luxury
Use synonyms
brands
Use synonyms
. From my perspective,
this
Linking Words
 trend is largely driven by herd mentality, and it is harmful because it fuels consumerism, widens social inequality, and puts psychological pressure on individuals,
while
Linking Words
also
Linking Words
 undermining balanced economic growth. The key reason why people pursue branded products is herd mentality, where individuals imitate others rather than making rational choices. When celebrities or influencers showcase designer items, these products are seen as symbols of prestige, encouraging people to equate self-worth with possessions.
This
Linking Words
 mindset promotes a culture of consumerism, where individuals spend excessively to chase the latest status symbols
instead
Linking Words
 of considering practical needs. A 2021 survey by
Consumer
Correct article usage
the Consumer
show examples
 Association revealed that over 65% of young
luxury
Use synonyms
 buyers in Asia purchased items mainly for social recognition, not for utility.
Such
Linking Words
behavior normalizes
Use the right word
behaviour normalises
show examples
 materialistic values and shifts social focus away from long-term personal development. From an economic perspective, excessive focus on
luxury
Use synonyms
brands
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 harms diversified growth. If consumers concentrate their spending on a few multinational
luxury
Use synonyms
 companies, local firms may lack sufficient revenue for research and innovation.
This
Linking Words
 reduces competition and long-term sustainability.
For example
Linking Words
, Bain & Company reported in 2022 that global
luxury
Use synonyms
 sales rose by 20%,
while
Linking Words
 many mid-range clothing
brands
Use synonyms
 experienced declining profits, forcing them to cut staff and limit new designs.
Such
Linking Words
imbalance
Correct article usage
an imbalance
show examples
 prevents economies from developing in a more inclusive and resilient way. In conclusion, the widespread pursuit of famous
brands
Use synonyms
, driven by herd mentality, fuels consumerism, widens social inequality, creates financial pressure, and weakens economic diversity. To build a healthier and more sustainable society, consumers should regulate their spending based on real needs,
while
Linking Words
 governments could
also
Linking Words
 encourage support for local industries and promote values beyond material possessions.

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structure
Be sure to state your main plan in a short intro and finish with a strong conclusion that repeats your view.
structure
Keep ideas separate: one main reason per paragraph with a clear topic sentence in simple words.
language
Use short, easy sentences. Break long sentences into two to four smaller lines for clarity.
content
Give one simple example for each main point that shows how people think or act.
task
You have a clear view that this trend is harmful and you give reasons.
coherence
You use data or facts to back up your points.
coherence
Your writing shows good flow from one idea to the next.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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