IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

More and more people want to buy clothes, cars and other items with famous brands. What are the reasons? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

In recent years, there has been a growing
trend
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 among consumers to
prioritize
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prioritise
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 purchasing clothing, vehicles, and other products from well-known
brands
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. I will examine the key reasons behind
this
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 phenomenon and argue that it is largely a negative development for both individuals and society. There are two primary reasons why people are increasingly drawn to branded goods.
Firstly
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, famous
brands
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 are often seen as symbols of social status and personal identity. In a highly competitive society, owning luxury items can help individuals signal their success, taste, and social standing to others, thereby boosting their self-esteem and sense of belonging.
Secondly
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, established
brands
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 are generally perceived to offer superior quality and reliability compared to generic alternatives. Consumers are willing to pay a premium for the assurance that their purchases are durable, safe, and backed by reputable customer service.
However
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,
this
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trend
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 is predominantly negative. From an individual perspective, the pursuit of branded items can lead to excessive consumerism and financial strain. Many people spend too much money on luxury goods to maintain appearances, resulting in debt and financial insecurity. At a social level,
this
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trend
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 exacerbates materialism and social inequality. It creates a culture where self-worth is measured by possessions, rather than personal qualities or achievements,
while
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 widening the gap between the wealthy and those who cannot afford
such
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 status symbols. In conclusion,
while
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 the desire for branded products stems from social validation and quality concerns, the
overall
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 impact of
this
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trend
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 is negative. It is crucial for individuals to adopt a more mindful approach to consumption, focusing on practicality and personal values rather than the allure of famous
brands
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.

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structure
Make each paragraph start with a clear idea and end with a short close sentence.
linking
Link ideas with simple words like also, but, so to show how ideas fit.
examples
Give at least one real example to back the idea.
task response
Check the task parts: answer why people buy brands and say if this is good or bad.
strength
Clear view on the topic.
structure
Good start and end in parts; easy to read.
cohesion
Use of connect words helps flow.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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