IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

More and more people want to buy clothes, cars and other items with famous brands. What are the reasons? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

In recent years, an increasing number of
people
Use synonyms
 have developed a trend for pursuing branded items,
such
Linking Words
 as clothing, cars, and so on.
This
Linking Words
 phenomenon is driven by multiple factors. I believe that they are more likely to have a beneficial impact. The main reason is that purchases are driven by popular psychology.
Brands
Use synonyms
 often serve as symbols of popularity. Many
people
Use synonyms
 don’t care about its comfort. In
this
Linking Words
 internet age, they simply want to own something that just
saw
Wrong verb form
seen
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 other
people
Use synonyms
 buying to show off their trendiness.
In other words
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 just want to tell others that they can afford to buy.
Furthermore
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, famous
brands
Use synonyms
 are a status symbol. In social settings,
luxury
Use synonyms
brands
Use synonyms
 are regarded as the symbol of class. Owning
luxury
Use synonyms
 goods facilitates entry into specific social circles.
For instance
Linking Words
, membership criteria at
high level
Use the right word
high-level
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 clubs in major cities require applicants to wear watches valued at over two hundred thousand yuan. And driving
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 expensive car is
also
Linking Words
 a way to indicate one’s identification. From my perspective, the benefits of buying items with famous
brands
Use synonyms
 outweigh the drawbacks. The popularity of consumption of
brands
Use synonyms
 can promote the growth of
Correct article usage
the economic
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economic
Replace the word
economy
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. Compared to ordinary
brands
Use synonyms
, famous
brands
Use synonyms
 command relatively higher prices, and
luxury
Use synonyms
 consumption can drive the development of related industries.
For example
Linking Words
,
some
Correct word choice
if some
show examples
brands
Use synonyms
 gain
popular
Replace the word
popularity
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, the surrounding food, entertainment and other shops will
also
Linking Words
 see
further
Linking Words
 development. In conclusion,
due to
Linking Words
 herd mentality and the desire for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
status symbols, many
people
Use synonyms
 have begun to
purchasing
Wrong verb form
purchase
show examples
luxury
Use synonyms
 goods. It seems to me that the potential positive progress of buying the famous
brands
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 more significant than the possible negative.

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structure
Plan your essay with a clear plan before you write. Use three easy parts: a short start, a body with one idea per paragraph, and a short end.
task
Make the aim clear in the first line and keep the view by the end. Stay on one main idea in each paragraph and close with a simple finish.
grammar
Use simple and clean grammar. Check word form and articles (a, an, the).
examples
Add more real small examples to show your point, and tie them to your claim with clear linking words.
editing
Read your work aloud to see if it is easy to read and easy to follow.
idea
The writer states a clear view from the start.
structure
There is a plan of three parts: intro, body, and conclusion.
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