In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development ?
Improving self-esteem as a personal indicator quality in many nations focuses massively on honing either soft skills or hard skills. In many nations around worldwide,
cities
are the place for villagers to move, thus
, the population in villages is declining. From my point of view, this
condition is a beneficial improvement for the people
instead
of a drawback impact.
Cities
have tons of sufficient media to boost personal qualities. Getting advanced education, having competitiveness amongst co-workers or teammates, and getting involved in outstanding public transportation are the value parameters that people
want to aim for. Being part of one condition is highly considerable for the employer who looking for new staff in the meantime of the job vacancy selection process, such
as having competitive ambitions. With competitive ambitions as an individual value, employers strongly recommend that people
to
become representatives for their company, later on. Remove the particle
apply
In addition
, that kind of people
is really demanding throughout the workplace because they have outstanding soft skills.
However
, extensive moving to the cities
has also
drawbacks. Overpopulated and limited greener space are the main problems. As a residential cluster is really demanding, many of the building planners do not do depth-analyzing in their construction. Thus
, it contributes to an imbalance in ecosystems. For example
, the greener space areas are less than before the construction. Other than that, making a tower block is not a good solution as it consists of multiple levels and surely impacts the decline of the sea levels. Later on, the cities
could be drowning as fast as the scientists expected.
In summary, the metropolitan as a chosen area in many countries around the world for villagers to move has pros and cons. In my perspective, this
condition has a positive development. Sharpening the interpersonal qualities throughout the people
is a pro, meanwhile, the con is the cities
become dense so in the suburbs the population becomes lesser.Submitted by misstiasclassroom on
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Task Achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly addresses the question and sets the stage for the discussion of both viewpoints. While you have made an attempt to introduce the topic, it could be more specific to the question prompt regarding the population decline in rural areas due to urban migration.
Task Achievement
Make sure to discuss both sides of the argument to fully address the essay question. You have presented one viewpoint more than the other, so try to balance the pros and cons of rural to urban migration to provide a more comprehensive response.
Task Achievement
Include specific examples to support your points. While you have considered some general concepts, the addition of concrete examples will strengthen your argument and help the reader understand your points better.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay structure is generally logical, however, some transitions between ideas could be smoother. Use cohesive devices such as linking words or phrases to guide the reader through your argument more clearly.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have included an introduction and a conclusion, which is good. To further improve your score, make sure these paragraphs clearly introduce and summarize your main points, reflecting the issue presented in the prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion
While you develop most points, some are not fully expanded. Aim to support every main point with clear reasoning or evidence. Doing this will demonstrate an ability to discuss ideas fully and improve the clarity of your argument.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.