Students leave high school without learning how to manage their money. What are the reasons and solutions for this issue?

#students #school #money

It is true that teenagers graduate from high school without knowing how to handle their finances. I will discuss

about

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

that

oppinion

Correct your spelling

opinion

and give causes and

solves

Replace the word

solutions

show examples

/SOLUTIONS for that problem. One main cause of

this

issue IS that nowadays, high

schools

think education which will support

for

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apply

show examples

finding jobs.

This

investing

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investment

show examples

will help to have a better career path. Because high school show that they are not

matured

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mature

show examples

enough to understand and they still should depend on their family. Their family should take care and control their

money

to spend more

reasonablely

Correct your spelling

reasonably

reasonable

so that they can'

use

money

Add an article

the money

show examples

for any bad case. High

schools

also

believe that students needn'

study

about

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apply

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financial management because they can'

earn a lot of

money

while

they are learning, they should pay

attenion

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attention

to many subjects and skills

serve

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that serve

show examples

for

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apply

show examples

their life and

public

Correct article usage

the public

show examples

then

they can gain more

succesfuly

Correct your spelling

successful

successfully

things. When they reach the right age, they will have comfortable

believes

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beliefs

show examples

, understand

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the

show examples

importance of

this

issue and study

money

management more easily.

On the other hand

, We

together with

high

schools

should have a lot of solutions for that issue. High

schools

should open many

class

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classes

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for managing finance. Because they can early aware of the importance of

money

, they can use it more carefully. they will help their family

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

will make them

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

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uncomfortable when they

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are

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controlled. That

also

provide

Correct subject-verb agreement

provides

show examples

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

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necessary skills for their life when they have to

away

Add a missing verb

be away

show examples

from their parents

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show examples

some occasions. Families should give a little

money

and teach them how to use it

reasonablely

Correct your spelling

reasonably

that

Correct word choice

so that

show examples

help their children needn'

rely on their parents. If they don'

know how to manage, they can be affected by a lot of bad elements and very easily lost

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apply

show examples

them. In conclusion, High school should have

a visions

Correct the article-noun agreement

a vision

visions

show examples

in teaching them about financial management, equipment is indispensable because it is very important that can serve them in many cases in their life

Submitted by xuanbtm on Fri Jul 28 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

326 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Students leave high school without learning how to manage their money. What are the reasons and solutions for this issue?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many social media accounts are fake What problems does ths cause? What Solatons can you suget?

this rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvangtage?

Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The proportion of older people is increasing, what problems will this cause and what solutions can be suggested?

Many people try to balance work and other parts of their life. However, this is very difficult to do. What are the problems associated with this? What is the best way to achieve better balance?