IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The diagram illustrates information on transport and car use in Edmonton.

The diagram illustrates information on transport and car use in Edmonton.
#information #transport #car #edmonton
The diagram illustrates information on transport and
car
 use in Edmonton.
Overall
, just under
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half(45%) in the pie
chart
 takes
car
 transport in comparison to other vehicles. In the
table
Add a comma
,table
show examples
 about 55 per cent usage of
Add an article
the car
show examples
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
 is
commute
Add an article
the commute
a commute
show examples
 to work and for the business principle.
To begin
 with
pie
Correct article usage
the pie
show examples
chart
 is divided
by
Change preposition
into
show examples
 4 slices, there is
car
Add an article
a car
the car
show examples
, LRT, bus and the
last
 one is a taxi. If we consider
car
 usage, it is about forty-five per cent,
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 rate among others
also
 taking up about half of
pie
Correct article usage
the pie
show examples
chart
.
Although
, LRT
a
Add a missing verb
is a
show examples
little behind on
car
Correct article usage
the car
show examples
, occupying about
one third
Add a hyphen
one-third
show examples
 of
chart
Add an article
the chart
show examples
. Bus with taxi has similar figures a modest ten per cent. The next is
table
Correct article usage
a table
show examples
people's
Change preposition
of people's
show examples
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 for using
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
car
 in
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
, in that
case
Add a comma
,case
show examples
 people using
car
Add an article
the car
a car
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
commute
Add an article
the commute
show examples
 to work,
making
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
 up about 55
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of the entire table.
Besides
, the use of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
transport observed for business nearly half(45%).
Submitted by dnm.best on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words car, chart with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrates" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 5 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: