IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

.The main aim of advertisements is to increase the sales of products that people do not need. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In recent years, the proliferation of
advertisements
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 aiming to boost product sales has become a broad issue for the general public. Some people argue that the main purpose of
advertisements
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 is to persuade
consumers
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 to purchase items they do not truly need.
However
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, it seems to me that
advertisements
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 serve multiple purposes beyond merely increasing sales of unnecessary
products
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. The following essay will shed light on these viewpoints. On the one hand, it is essential to recognise that individuals should acknowledge the significant advantages associated with the view that
advertisements
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 primarily seek to increase sales of non-essential goods. A crucial consideration is that advertising often employs persuasive techniques, which highlight psychological triggers
such
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 as fear of missing out or social pressure.
For example
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, it is noteworthy that many
advertisements
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 for luxury items or the latest technological gadgets create a sense of urgency, encouraging
consumers
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 to make impulsive purchases.
In addition
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, another important point to emphasise is the potential for overconsumption.
This
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 is
due to
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 the fact that constant exposure to
advertisements
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 can lead people to buy things they do not need, contributing to waste and unsustainable consumption patterns.
On the other hand
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, it is crucial to examine the opposing viewpoint that
advertisements
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also
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 provide valuable information and promote beneficial
products
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. A noteworthy factor to consider is that advertising can raise awareness about new innovations, which emphasises that
consumers
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 are informed about
products
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 that could improve their lives.
For instance
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, one might refer to public health campaigns or
advertisements
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 for environmentally friendly
products
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, which illustrate the potential benefits associated with
this
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 perspective.
Furthermore
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, it is essential to underscore that advertising supports economic growth and competition.
This
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 assertion is supported by the fact that businesses rely on advertising to reach new customers and differentiate themselves in the marketplace, thereby providing a clearer understanding of the complexities involved. In conclusion, an analysis of the differing perspectives on the aim of
advertisements
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 highlights the complexities surrounding consumer behaviour and marketing strategies. On one hand,
advertisements
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 can drive the purchase of unnecessary
products
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 through persuasive techniques and contribute to overconsumption.
Conversely
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, they can
also
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 inform
consumers
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 about useful
products
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 and foster healthy competition. Ultimately,
it is clear that
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while
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advertisements
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 sometimes promote non-essential goods, they
also
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 play a vital role in modern economies.
This
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 examination prompts individuals to consider the influence of advertising on their own buying decisions and to approach
advertisements
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 with a critical mindset.

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strength
You argue well for both sides and say how ads can be a good and a bad thing.
improvement
Give a firmer view in the end. State a main idea clearly and keep to it.
improvement
Some ideas are similar. Add new points that are fresh and easy to see.
improvement
Use short, clear sentences. Break long lines into 2 or 3 easy parts.
improvement
Check small grammar points so lines read well and sit smooth with the link words.
structure
Clear move from statement to argument with support.
content
Use of examples like health ads and green products is good.
cohesion
Reasonable flow with linking words between ideas.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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