The diagrams below show the site of a school in 20104 and the plan for changes to the school site in 2024
The maps compare the layout of a
school
as it was in the year 2004 with a proposed site design for the year 2024.
Overall
, the main change for 2024 involves the appearance of a new school
building. The school
will then
be able to accommodate a considerably large number of students.
In 2004, there were 600 pupils attending the school
, and the two buildings were separated by a path running from the main entrance to the sports field. By 2014, it is expected that there will be 1000 pupils,
and a third building will have been constructed on the original site of the sports field. Remove the comma
apply
In addition
, the path will have been
shortened in order to connect it to the two original buildings, which will have been linked.
A second car
park
will be built next to the third building, and the sports field with a smaller area will be relocated to the south of the car
park
in 2024. A new road also
will be built from the main entrance to the second car
park
. Finally
, there will be no changes to the original car
park
and the main entrance.Submitted by nttung.182 on
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words school, car, park with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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