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Writing Samples
Band 4

In many countries nowadays, young single people no longer stay with their parents until they are married, but leave to study or work somewhere else. Do you think this trend has more advantages or disadvantages?

#countries #people #parents #study #work #trend
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It is a fact that a lot of young
people
Use synonyms
 leave their
parents
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' house when they complete their graduation from high
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
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. They prefer to live independently as they continue their higher education or decide to work.
This
Linking Words
 trend has its' own positive and negative side, but I personally believe that it has more benefits than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
drawback. On the one hand, many
people
Use synonyms
 believe that leaving
Use synonyms
Correct pronoun usage
their parents
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parents
Change noun form
parents'
parent's
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 house
during
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
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 young
age
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 has a disadvantage. It is undeniable that many young teenagers are not yet ready to live independently by themselves. Many of these
people
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 are not yet
matured
Wrong verb form
mature
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 in making decisions and in differentiating between right or wrong for them.
As a consequence
Linking Words
, many
of
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apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young
people
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 become addicted to narcotics and alcohol or became pregnant at a very young
age
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.
On the other hand
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, despite the disadvantage, living independently at
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 young
age
Use synonyms
 has some advantages for them.
Firstly
Linking Words
, they will learn how to manage their own life and appreciate the time. They learn how to set some priorities in their life, as they have to make schedules for studying,
groceries
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grocery
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 shopping, doing the laundry or cleaning their apartment by themselves.
Secondly
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, for those who leave their
parents
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 for work, they would reduce the burden
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their
parents
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.
Parents
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 could stop the financial
supports
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support
show examples
 for their child and could be allocated for the younger children or for their retirement plan. In conclusion, it is true that many young
age
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people
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 choose to live independently these days after they have graduated from high school.
Although
Linking Words
 the trend has a drawback,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
I personally believe that it has more advantages for both the child and the
parents
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 as well.
Submitted by nguyenhoanghadl on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-reliance
  • personal growth
  • career opportunities
  • financial difficulties
  • sense of responsibility
  • isolation
  • support system
  • family bonds
  • cultural norms
  • living arrangements
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