It is a good idea for people to continue working beyond retirement age. Do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, many elderly people are working after

retirement

Use synonyms

. It has been suggested that working beyond

this

Linking Words

age is good for them. In my opinion, they should not work after

retirement

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. It is my view that being retired, older folk have the chance to relax and do their favourite activities which they did not have the time to do as an employee.

For instance

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, they can read more books and spend most of their time with their relatives. Thanks to

retirement

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, they have more hours to enjoy their friends.

In addition

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, working retirees bring about a lack of job opportunities for younger who need jobs and money

for providing

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to provide

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their families with their basic needs.

For example

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, in societies that suffer from economic problems, most retired citizens are unable to access necessities for life.

Consequently

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, they are forced to work. Since job opportunities are limited, the young public is deprived of having a career.

In contrast

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, some nations claim that retired persons are more likely to suffer from depression. They firmly insist that retired populations who stay at home and do not have a career face depression.

For instance

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, I, personally, know a few relatives who after

retirement

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became depressed and spent most of their hours in a room and do not communicate with others.

However

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, I do not find

this

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argument convincing as they can join clubs and link with peers in regular activities. In conclusion, I completely disagree with doing work for the retired population because they should relax and do their favourite activities.

Also

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, youngsters are able to reach more job opportunities.

smksalatiFri Jul 28 2023

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task response

In your essay, you need to fully address the prompt. Make sure your arguments and examples are directly related to the idea of working beyond retirement age.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear structure, but make sure to use linking words and transitional phrases to improve the flow of ideas. Also, try to group similar ideas together for better coherence.

lexical resource

Expand your vocabulary to express your ideas in more varied and precise ways. Avoid repetition and use synonyms to enhance your lexical resource.

grammatical range

Work on using a wider range of grammatical structures in your sentences. Vary your sentence structure by using different kinds of clauses and phrases.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

264 words

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It is a good idea for people to continue working beyond retirement age. Do you agree or disagree?

Many countries thought children have to do homework in their free time while others say children should do more outdoor activity. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Sports programmes are very popular on television nowadays. Some people argue that those programmes are the reasons for poor health of many young people as the prefer to watch sports rather than partake in them. Do you agree or disagree with this view ?

Some students work while studying. This often results in lacking time for education and constantly feeling under pressure. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this case? Do you think is a positive or negative develompent?

Many people believe that educational standards have declined in recent times, particularly in the areas of literacy and numeracy.