It is a good idea for people to continue working beyond retirement age. Do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction

Nowadays, many elderly people are working after

retirement

Use synonyms

. It has been suggested that working beyond

this

Linking Words

age is good for them. In my opinion, they should not work after

retirement

Use synonyms

Body paragraph 1

It is my view that being retired, older folk have the chance to relax and do their favourite activities which they did not have the time to do as an employee.

For instance

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, they can read more books and spend most of their time with their relatives. Thanks to

retirement

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, they have more hours to enjoy their friends.

In addition

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, working retirees bring about a lack of job opportunities for younger who need jobs and money

for providing

Change preposition

to provide

show examples

their families with their basic needs.

For example

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, in societies that suffer from economic problems, most retired citizens are unable to access necessities for life.

Consequently

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, they are forced to work. Since job opportunities are limited, the young public is deprived of having a career.

Body paragraph 2

In contrast

Linking Words

, some nations claim that retired persons are more likely to suffer from depression. They firmly insist that retired populations who stay at home and do not have a career face depression.

For instance

Linking Words

, I, personally, know a few relatives who after

retirement

Use synonyms

became depressed and spent most of their hours in a room and do not communicate with others.

However

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, I do not find

this

Linking Words

argument convincing as they can join clubs and link with peers in regular activities.

Conclusion

In conclusion, I completely disagree with doing work for the retired population because they should relax and do their favourite activities.

Also

Linking Words

, youngsters are able to reach more job opportunities.

smksalati

Jul 28, 2023

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task response

In your essay, you need to fully address the prompt. Make sure your arguments and examples are directly related to the idea of working beyond retirement age.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear structure, but make sure to use linking words and transitional phrases to improve the flow of ideas. Also, try to group similar ideas together for better coherence.

lexical resource

Expand your vocabulary to express your ideas in more varied and precise ways. Avoid repetition and use synonyms to enhance your lexical resource.

grammatical range

Work on using a wider range of grammatical structures in your sentences. Vary your sentence structure by using different kinds of clauses and phrases.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

264 words

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It is a good idea for people to continue working beyond retirement age. Do you agree or disagree?

“In today’s world, many people are forced to take on more than one job. What is the reason for this change, and what can be done to address this issue?”

You use the local swimming pool often, and during one of your visits, you have encountered a problem. Write a letter to the manager. In your letter: Describe what the problem was Tell what the swimming staff have done about it Suggest your own solution to the problem

You want to complain about the service you received in the hotel you stayed in while attending a recent meeting. Write a letter to the person who organised the meeting. In your letter • describe the meeting explan the posite it the evice suggest what the meeting organiser should do.