In many countries, women no longer feel the need to get married. Some people believe that this is because women are able to earn their own income and therefore do not require the financial security that marriage can bring. To what extent do you agree?
Nowadays females
do
not Verb problem
are
require
to marry and prefer to remain unmarried, so Wrong verb form
required
according to
some, since women
become financially independent, the tendency to get married for financial support has decreased. Despite this
, I do not agree that the rate of marriage
has fallen due to
women
's financial security.
A good reason for a decreased rate of marriage
is that young adults can not find their true soulmates. In other words
, marriage
is a beautiful relationship between two souls and thus
sharing their emotions or feeling with each other plays a more important role than the financial aspects of life. Since it has become so challenging these days to find a person who has mutual interests with them, the female young generations prefer to stay single. Taking Iran as an example, for religious families, it is so
vital to find a husband for their daughters who follow the same traditions more than monetary reasons.
Another point to consider is that the decreased prevalence of Rephrase
apply
marriage
would be a result of higher education among women
. At present, because of liberalization , a majority of women
continue their further
education and get higher positions in society. Although
they earn brilliant incomes due to
their university education, finding a soulmate who has the same degree as them is essential for them. If a man is not well-educated and does not have the same social status as a woman, they would
not lead a long-lasting relationship. Wrong verb form
will
For example
, numerous educated girls in Iran prefer to marry a man with a PHD
degree Correct your spelling
Ph.D.
although
he is poor.
In conclusion, the need of getting
married among females has plummeted and their tendency to remain single has soared Change preposition
to get
due to
the lack of mutual interests and educational levels between them , which are more vital than the financial independence of women
Submitted by parismasoumzadeh7495 on
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task response
Ensure that the essay directly answers the question by discussing the reasons for the decreased rate of marriage and specifically addressing the role of women's financial independence.
coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates a logical structure with clear introduction and conclusion. However, consider linking ideas within paragraphs more effectively to enhance coherence.