In many countries, women no longer feel the need to get married. Some people believe that this is because women are able to earn their own income and therefore do not require the financial security that marriage can bring. To what extent do you agree?

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Nowadays females

Verb problem

are

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not

require

Wrong verb form

required

show examples

to marry and prefer to remain unmarried, so

according to

Linking Words

some, since

women

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become financially independent, the tendency to get married for financial support has decreased. Despite

this

Linking Words

, I do not agree that the rate of

marriage

Use synonyms

has fallen

due to

Linking Words

women

Use synonyms

's financial security. A good reason for a decreased rate of

marriage

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is that young adults can not find their true soulmates.

In other words

Linking Words

marriage

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is a beautiful relationship between two souls and

thus

Linking Words

sharing their emotions or feeling with each other plays a more important role than the financial aspects of life. Since it has become so challenging these days to find a person who has mutual interests with them, the female young generations prefer to stay single. Taking Iran as an example, for religious families, it is

Rephrase

apply

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vital to find a husband for their daughters who follow the same traditions more than monetary reasons. Another point to consider is that the decreased prevalence of

marriage

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would be a result of higher education among

women

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. At present, because of liberalization , a majority of

women

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continue their

further

Linking Words

education and get higher positions in society.

Although

Linking Words

they earn brilliant incomes

due to

Linking Words

their university education, finding a soulmate who has the same degree as them is essential for them. If a man is not well-educated and does not have the same social status as a woman, they

would

Wrong verb form

will

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not lead a long-lasting relationship.

For example

Linking Words

, numerous educated girls in Iran prefer to marry a man with a

PHD

Correct your spelling

Ph.D.

degree

although

Linking Words

he is poor. In conclusion, the need

of getting

Change preposition

to get

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married among females has plummeted and their tendency to remain single has soared

due to

Linking Words

the lack of mutual interests and educational levels between them , which are more vital than the financial independence of

women

Use synonyms

parismasoumzadeh7495Sat Jul 29 2023

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task response

Ensure that the essay directly answers the question by discussing the reasons for the decreased rate of marriage and specifically addressing the role of women's financial independence.

coherence cohesion

The essay demonstrates a logical structure with clear introduction and conclusion. However, consider linking ideas within paragraphs more effectively to enhance coherence.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

305 words

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In many countries, women no longer feel the need to get married. Some people believe that this is because women are able to earn their own income and therefore do not require the financial security that marriage can bring. To what extent do you agree?

It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for thier future. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Now many big cities in the world are increasing in size. What are the problems associated with it? What are the solutions to these problems?

Some people believe that companies should manufacture products that last for a long time. Others feel that the emphasis should be placed on producing goods that are cheap. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to child's development as other subject, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extend do you agree or disagree?