In many countries, teenagers are being encouraged to do part-time jobs. Some people think it is a positive development while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#countries #teenagers #jobs #people #development

Teenagers in some countries are encouraged to take up part-time jobs, causing some public controversy.

Although

some might disagree with

this

due to

its potential drawbacks, I believe that it is offering broad-based benefits for young people. There are several reasons why a teenager should not do a part-time job.

First,

since working part-time may take up a great amount of time, students' academic performance would be impaired. In fact, there

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

a number of intense university courses requiring high volumes of homework and self-study, and students would fail these programs if they spend too much time working.

Second,

having a part-time job

while

studying may be harmful to teenagers' health and mental wellness.

For example

, the

very

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

lack of a recovery period makes a student susceptible to stress, which can potentially lead to other health issues

such

as heart disease and stroke.

Nevertheless

, I would argue that taking up a part-time job can be beneficial in many different ways. Since employers today need more sophisticated skills that are not taught in school, students would have to learn and practice these skills in their part-time jobs.

For instance

, a young person can learn how to communicate his or her ideas effectively and work

together with

others from diverse backgrounds thanks to simply being a waitress or a waiter in a restaurant.

In addition

, by working part-time, they can have an opportunity to develop their gratitude towards their parents. Realizing that earning money requires hard work would propel young people to diligently utilize the investment in education their parents make for them

instead

of taking it for granted, which can result in higher learning scores. In short, both views can be reasonable to a certain extent.

However

, I believe that the advantages of teenagers taking up part-time jobs can be more significant since they can build on-the-job experiences and important skills that are essential for their future working lives.

Submitted by quangduong11750 on Sat Jul 29 2023

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task response

Ensure that all points raised are directly related to the prompt and provide a balanced view on the topic. Make sure to clearly address the advantages and disadvantages of teenagers taking up part-time jobs.

coherence and cohesion

The essay demonstrates a good use of cohesive devices and logical sequencing of ideas. Keep using linking words and cohesive devices to improve coherence and cohesion.

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14Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

318 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many countries, teenagers are being encouraged to do part-time jobs. Some people think it is a positive development while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In some cities although more and more people use public transport the roads are still crowded. How can this problem solved? provide specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?

In some cities of the world, cars are replacing bicycles. However, in some cities, bicycle are replacing cars. What are the reason for this for these developments? In your opinion, which one is better?

Some people believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their own health and diet. Others however believe that the Government should make sure that their citizens have a healthy diet. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or a shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.