IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors to three different areas in a European country between 1987 and 2007

The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors to three different areas in a European country between 1987 and 2007
#visitors #three #areas #european #country
The line graph illustrates how many overseas
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
 to the
coast
, the mountains, and the
lakes
 of
Europeans
Replace the word
European
show examples
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
 from 1987 to 2007.
Overall
, there was a noticeable increase in the
number
 of
visitors
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the
coast
. When it comes to
mountain's
Change noun form
mountain
show examples
visitors
, they experienced a slight rise.
While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the
lakes
Change noun form
lake's
show examples
 rates
were fluctuate
Change the verb form
fluctuated
show examples
. The
number
 of
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
coast
 was 40000 in 1987.
However
,
this
 rate was a slight decrease to just below 40000 between 1987 and 1992. There
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 a significant rise
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
number
 of
coast's
Change noun form
coast
show examples
visitors
 to over 7000 from 1992 to 2007. When it comes to
mountains'
Change noun form
mountains
show examples
visitors
, they were 20000 in 1987.
However
, the
number
 of
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
mountains
Correct article usage
the mountains
show examples
 rose slightly to over, 20000 from 1987 to 2007.
Finally
, there were 10000
lakes
 of
visitors
 in 1987. During the next
decade
Add a comma
,decade
show examples
this
 rate was noticeably rise to 40000. From 1997 to 2002, the
number
 of
visitors
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
lakes
 increased significantly to more than 70000. Unfortunately, there was a significant decline in the
number
 of
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
lakes
 to approximately, 50000 between 2002 and 2007.‌‌
Submitted by islomov1229 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words travelers, coast, lakes, number, visitors with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 6 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • overseas visitors
  • number of
  • areas
  • European country
  • between
  • 1987 and 2000
  • graph
  • introduce
  • overview
  • trends
  • describe
  • analyze
  • compare and contrast
  • summarize
  • main findings
What to do next:
Look at other essays: