An increasing number of children are overweight which could result many problems when they grow older both in terms of their health and health care costs. Why do you think so many children are overweight? What could be done to solve this problem

The world is very different today , and that includes how
children
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live. Many
children
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nowadays are overweight, and
this
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is a serious
problem
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.
This
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also
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means that when they are older, they will have terrible health issues and high health costs.
This
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essay will examine why I think so many
children
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are overweight and what could be done to solve
this
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problem
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. I believe that
children
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today are overweight for many reasons.
First,
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many
children
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eat junk
food
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.
Also
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, they drink sugary drinks
instead
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of water.
Second,
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one of the biggest things
leads
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that leads
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a person to be overweight is being lazy.
Children
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spend too much time on the phone or computer .
Moreover
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,they don’t play outdoors or do sports because they are in their room with their technology.
Finally
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, some parents do not set a good example.
For instance
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, they do not encourage healthy
food
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or playing sports.
On the other hand
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, there are several solutions to help these
children
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.
First,
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eat healthy
food
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. It is very good for the body.
For example
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,
children
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should eat more fruits and vegetables. They should eat less junk
food
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and sugar.
Second,
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one of the most important things to lose weight and be healthy is to do exercise.
For example
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,
children
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should play outdoors every day.
Also
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, do sports every day. It will help
children
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to stay healthy and fit.
Finally
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, parents should teach their
children
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about good habits,
thus
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making their lives healthy.
Also
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, schools should teach them about a healthy lifestyle.
Moreover
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,
this
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will help them to be healthier in the future. In conclusion, it is clear to see that there are many reasons responsible for the child obesity
problem
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.
However
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, there are a number of good solutions to fix
this
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problem
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.

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structure
Plan your essay. Start with a short intro, then give one idea per paragraph, and finish with a short conclusion.
grammar
Use easy and correct grammar. Check a few common spots, like verb form and word order.
cohesion
Link ideas with small words like first, also, but, finally to show how ideas go together.
content
Give more clear facts or examples for each point, not just general ideas.
lexis
Use common words. Keep long or hard words away.
structure
Separate your cause paragraphs and solution paragraphs better so each idea has its own space.
strength
The essay shows a plan to discuss causes and solutions.
strength
There is a clear plan for introduction, main ideas, and a conclusion.
strength
Some good examples of solutions like eating fruits and doing exercise.
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