Children can learn effectively by watching television. Therefore they should be encouraged to watch TV regularly at home and at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Undoubtedly, technological expectations are considered to be major for development in children. But

parents

Use synonyms

should not allow their

kids

Use synonyms

to watch

Use synonyms

Often

Fix capitalization

often

show examples

Therefore

Linking Words

, I would have to disagree with

this

Linking Words

aspect about people's belief

Change preposition

that

show examples

television could provide benefits in learning.

To begin

Linking Words

with,

Fix capitalization

show examples

we focus on the advancement of the television industry and the numerous availability of shows is a phenomenon.

However

Linking Words

Use synonyms

would offer several positive atmospheres in the development and growth of toddlers and

kids

Use synonyms

below the age of five.

Along with

Linking Words

the addition of washing the

Use synonyms

regularly, which

somewhere

Rephrase

apply

show examples

also

Linking Words

affected distressed mental and physical health.

For instance

Linking Words

parents

Use synonyms

would have to encourage their children to gain knowledge through the outside world. Even though

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

it seems to me that physical learning methods would be way more effective than the approach to

this

Linking Words

complication of watching

Use synonyms

Use the right word

show examples

On the other hand

Linking Words

, kindergarten schools would be the most crucial option to provide sufficient learning methods for children.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, allowing

kids

Use synonyms

to watch hours of

Use synonyms

programs without any interruption would

cost

Verb problem

cause

show examples

severe damage at a very young age. The

overall

Linking Words

approach to these consequences should

have to

Verb problem

show examples

take

Wrong verb form

taken

show examples

seriously.

For example

Linking Words

parents

Use synonyms

should rather put limitations on

Use synonyms

usage

and

Punctuation problem

, and

show examples

they have to

imply

Verb problem

implement

show examples

a proper schedule because stopping them from watching

Use synonyms

would not be minimal

follow through

Use the right word

follow-through

show examples

this

Linking Words

situation. So precautions have to

take

Wrong verb form

be taken

show examples

before these

kids

Use synonyms

went

Wrong verb form

show examples

aggressive

Change preposition

toward

show examples

their

parents

Use synonyms

To conclude

Linking Words

, limitations on watching television would

going

Wrong verb form

show examples

to practical,

whereas

Linking Words

there will be several options to provide

proper

Punctuation problem

proper,

show examples

effective learning without

this

Linking Words

prospect. For that

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

reason

Punctuation problem

, I

show examples

would

better

Rephrase

rather

show examples

disagree

rather

Rephrase

apply

show examples

than a contract of argument.

user349953

Jul 29, 2023

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grammar

Use short and clear sentences. The text has long lines. Break them into simple ideas.

structure

Put intro, 2 or 3 body parts, and a short conclusion in order.

task response

State your view early and keep it. Add one or two easy ideas to back it up.

content

Give real examples that fit the idea and avoid vague phrases.

grammar

Check word form and spelling.

content

The writer shows a clear view about TV use.

content

The piece tries to give examples and explain ideas.

organization

There is some attempt to link ideas with talk about home and school.

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

277 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

children
learn
effectively
watching
television
educational
content
engaging
fun
programs
valuable
lessons
moral
values
social
issues
empathy
vocabulary
language
skills
communicators
documentaries
cultures
understanding
world
curiosity
questions
knowledge
interesting

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