some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. why is this the case? do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development

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Nowadays, some kids can mindlessly scroll through their smartphones for hours on a daily basis.

This

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phenomenon is happening

due to

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the lack of care from families.

Overall

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, I firmly disagree with

this

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contemporary habit as it has a degrading impact on

children

Use synonyms

's ability to focus and social skills.

To begin

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with, the main contributor to

this

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issue is the parents' ignorance of their heirs. To illustrate, many working parents spend most of their time outside of the house,

thus

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, over-rely on the babysitter's role to take care of their offspring.

Hence

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, the easiest way to soothe toddlers is by introducing them to consuming content on smartphones.

For instance

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, I often watch mothers giving out gadgets as a shortcut to calm their toddlers every time I eat out at a restaurant.

This

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kind of negligence builds the

children

Use synonyms

's overdependent behaviour to gadgets. From my point of view,

this

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habit is destructive to the toddlers' development.

Firstly

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children

Use synonyms

will become addicted to the sudden endorphin rush gotten from entertainment and,

consequently

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, weaken their concentration capability from

such

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an early age.

For example

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, my 5-year-old nephew found it hard to recall his own address because of his outrageous addiction to computer games.

Moreover

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, kids will not be exploring avenues outside their comfort zone and making new friends that build their social intelligence. In conclusion, families play a monumental role in overcoming the issue of the era. As the drawbacks of playing smartphones have undeniably detrimental impacts on

children

Use synonyms

, I strongly opine that

this

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is a negative development. It would be nice if kids nowadays could

also

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chase butterflies

together with

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their pals like our generation used to enjoy in hindsight.

Submitted by gabrichristie on Sat Sep 23 2023

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Task Achievement

For an even stronger essay, consider expanding your solutions or preventative measures against excessive smartphone use among children. Adding a brief detail on potential strategies parents and societies could employ adds depth to your argument and reflects a comprehensive understanding of the issue.

Coherence & Cohesion

In future essays, varying your sentence structure and using a wider range of vocabulary could enhance clarity and readability. While your essay is already strong, these subtle adjustments could make your points even more compelling.

Task Achievement

Your essay presents a clear and comprehensive argument against excessive smartphone use by children, effectively addressing the prompt.

Coherence & Cohesion

You effectively use specific examples and logical sequencing to support your points, which strengthens your argument and makes it easy for the reader to follow.

14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

278 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. why is this the case? do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Many foods are shipped from far away. Some people think that eating local food is more environmentally and economically. Do you think the advantages outweigh its disadvantages?

Some people think it is more important to plant more tree in open areas in towns and cities than provide more housing. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

In their advertising, business nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way why is this? do you think it is positive or negative development?