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Band 4.5

students should spend time working before beginning their university studies. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

#students #time #university #studies
It
Correct word choice
Whether it
show examples
 is a debate or not. so I believe that graduates should learn more practical knowledge because it helps
students
Change noun form
students'
student's
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 issues, whether working before beginning their
university
 studies is helpful for
students
 to have communication skills and be more confident in their imminent life. The first idea
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 is to support
students
 to gain work
experience
 which will ultimately lead to a good position in a company after a period of
time
 when they have more good qualifications.
Furthermore
Add a comma
,Furthermore
show examples
 the
students
 that spend
time
 working, spend
time
 gain
experience
 from working and will find employment without any hardship. so working experiences help
students
 have a good life after graduation, and the unemployment rate will be lower than the rest of the
students
 that didn't spend
time
 working before beginning their
university
 studies.
On the other hand
, some people think that
students
 shouldn't work before starting
University
 courses. People believe that their children would spend more
time
 on their
university
 education and the
students
 must work to gain
experience
. They think if their child working, it will affect
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the academic achievement of their child. When the
students
 graduate, the employment rate is 50/50, the student can get a job if they have enough confidence, qualifications and communication skills and if
students
 don't have those skills, the unemployment rate will be higher. In short,
that is
 my true belief, a lot of qualifications without real-life
experience
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 completely worthless.
However
, it is beneficial to spend a significant amount of
time
 on fieldwork prior to graduate school.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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