students should spend time working before beginning their university studies. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

It
Correct word choice
Whether it
show examples
is a debate or not. so I believe that graduates should learn more practical knowledge because it helps
students
Change noun form
students'
student's
show examples
issues, whether working before beginning their
university
studies is helpful for
students
to have communication skills and be more confident in their imminent life. The first idea
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
is to support
students
to gain work
experience
which will ultimately lead to a good position in a company after a period of
time
when they have more good qualifications.
Furthermore
Add a comma
,Furthermore
show examples
the
students
that spend
time
working, spend
time
gain
experience
from working and will find employment without any hardship. so working experiences help
students
have a good life after graduation, and the unemployment rate will be lower than the rest of the
students
that didn't spend
time
working before beginning their
university
studies.
On the other hand
, some people think that
students
shouldn't work before starting
University
courses. People believe that their children would spend more
time
on their
university
education and the
students
must work to gain
experience
. They think if their child working, it will affect
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the academic achievement of their child. When the
students
graduate, the employment rate is 50/50, the student can get a job if they have enough confidence, qualifications and communication skills and if
students
don't have those skills, the unemployment rate will be higher. In short,
that is
my true belief, a lot of qualifications without real-life
experience
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
completely worthless.
However
, it is beneficial to spend a significant amount of
time
on fieldwork prior to graduate school.
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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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