IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

A university education is the key to getting a good job. For that reason, the government should provide enough money to the universities so everyone can get a degree for free. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#university #education #job #reason #government #money #universities
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Nowadays, a
university
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degree
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 is undoubtedly crucial for attaining good career opportunities. Some people argue that
Use synonyms
university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
show examples
 should be free and accessible to everyone. I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 point of view because
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government
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the government
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 should take
a
Correct article usage
apply
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responsibility to provide a free and affordable
university
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 so that citizens could get
same
Correct article usage
the same
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 chances in the job market.
Firstly
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,
university
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 education is not the only sector that should be invested. Running a country is similar to managing a company.
Government
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 should balance
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cash flow properly. In
this
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 case, the
government
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 should
also
Linking Words
 put their funding to other beneficial areas
in particular
Linking Words
 infrastructure, health services, and transportation facilities.
Furthermore
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, not every student urgently needs
free
Correct article usage
the free
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 cost of
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university
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a university
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degree
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. Some of them possibly are born from a rich family who can afford the cost.
However
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, it is evident that the
university
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 fee is increasing every year.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it could prohibit the unlucky student who
do
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does
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 not in good economic status to achieve a
university
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degree
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. The
government
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 should address
this
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 problem. I firmly believe that human resource is the key factor in
country’s
Correct article usage
a country’s
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 development. The more people obtain a
university
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degree
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, the better quality of Individuals in society.
Consequently
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,
Government
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 should invest considerably
to
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in
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 the
university
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.
For instance
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, Indonesia is a developing country where the majority of
student
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students
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 come from poor economic status. Unfortunately, we cannot find a free
university
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 or at least
affordable
Correct article usage
an affordable
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 high-quality college in Indonesia.
This
Linking Words
 is one of the reasons why Indonesia still struggles to upgrade to a high-developed country. In conclusion, I fully support
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government
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the government
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 should prioritize the funding of
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Add an article
the university
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university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
show examples
. Even though they cannot make it entirely free, reducing the fees without compromising the quality of education would be a positive step.
Submitted by zia_ardhi on

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