IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people think that students should spend time working before beginning their university studies. To what extent, do you agree or disagree?

#people #students #time #university #studies
Nowadays, some people argue that before starting university admission is the best
time
 for
students
 to
work
 part-
time
. I completely disagree with that idea because I believe it is not the best way to do it.
To begin
 with, focusing on part-
time
 jobs will cause
students
 to procrastinate for various reasons.
Firstly
,
students
 won't have
time
 to rest and get ready for college because they have to race against
time
 to
work
.
As a result
,
students
 are pressured both to study and to
work
 because of a lack of proper preparation and reasonable leisure
time
.
For example
,
students
 who have to
work
 part-
time
 often will miss many classes to earn money which causes them to miss lessons and fall behind their peers.
Secondly
, the fact that individuals spend their entire youth working will make them isolated and lonely because they have no friends around to play and study, leading to poor communication skills and difficulty finding a job. because nowadays big companies in many developed countries like USA or UK all require
students
 to have good social communication skills and
this
 creates a disadvantage for introverts like them.
However
, I still believe that there are other factors to create success without having to get a part-
time
 job first. Recruitment can focus their
time
 on studying which will help them achieve higher academic success and earn a diploma with high scores.
This
 can have a tremendously positive impact on the studying results.
As a result
, large companies will prioritize those
students
 over individuals who used to
work
 part-
time
 but have lower grades. If they do not go to
work
 and only focus on studying, they will spend a lot of
time
 training their mind and body which leads to them becoming academically-gifted
students
 and successful in their future careers. In conclusion, having a part-
time
 job before going to university is very beneficial, but in my opinion,
students
 should spend
time
 studying, it will be a better way to create more successful things.
Submitted by [email protected] on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: