IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that students should spend time working before beginning their university studies. To what extent, do you agree or disagree?

#people #students #time #university #studies
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Nowadays, some people argue that before starting university admission is the best
time
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 for
students
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 to
work
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 part-
time
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. I completely disagree with that idea because I believe it is not the best way to do it.
To begin
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 with, focusing on part-
time
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 jobs will cause
students
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 to procrastinate for various reasons.
Firstly
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,
students
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 won't have
time
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 to rest and get ready for college because they have to race against
time
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 to
work
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.
As a result
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,
students
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 are pressured both to study and to
work
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 because of a lack of proper preparation and reasonable leisure
time
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.
For example
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,
students
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 who have to
work
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 part-
time
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 often will miss many classes to earn money which causes them to miss lessons and fall behind their peers.
Secondly
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, the fact that individuals spend their entire youth working will make them isolated and lonely because they have no friends around to play and study, leading to poor communication skills and difficulty finding a job. because nowadays big companies in many developed countries like USA or UK all require
students
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 to have good social communication skills and
this
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 creates a disadvantage for introverts like them.
However
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, I still believe that there are other factors to create success without having to get a part-
time
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 job first. Recruitment can focus their
time
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 on studying which will help them achieve higher academic success and earn a diploma with high scores.
This
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 can have a tremendously positive impact on the studying results.
As a result
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, large companies will prioritize those
students
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 over individuals who used to
work
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 part-
time
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 but have lower grades. If they do not go to
work
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 and only focus on studying, they will spend a lot of
time
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 training their mind and body which leads to them becoming academically-gifted
students
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 and successful in their future careers. In conclusion, having a part-
time
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 job before going to university is very beneficial, but in my opinion,
students
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 should spend
time
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 studying, it will be a better way to create more successful things.
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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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