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Band 7

The charts below give information about the typical temperatures in London, New York, and Sydney as well as total hours of sunshine for each city.

The charts below give information about the typical temperatures in London, New York, and Sydney as well as total hours of sunshine for each city.
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The line graph clearly illustrates the changes in average temperatures per month in
London
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, New
York
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 and
Sydney
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.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the given table graph demonstrates how many
hours
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 the given
cities
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 exposure to sunshine in a year.
Overall
Linking Words
, the changes in the given data about the
temperature
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 in New
York
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 and
London
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 are quite similar to each other,
however
Linking Words
, in Sdyney these amounts are different from those in the given other two
cities
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.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, The
temperature
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 in
London
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 in January is almost double amount of the New
York
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's heat with approximately 8 Celcius and nearly 4 Celcius respectively which are the coolest in both
cities
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.
In contrast
Linking Words
, at the same time,
Sydney
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 sees the highest
temperature
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 in 12 months at just under 30 Celcius. In July, both New
York
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 and
London
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 live the hottest days at
average
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an average
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 of 25 Celsius,
however
Linking Words
,
Sydney
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's
temperature
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 significantly decrease and
this
Linking Words
 month is the coolest one in 365 days.
Secondly
Linking Words
, New
York
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 has the highest total annual
hours
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 of sunshine with 2535
hours
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. The second one is just 62
hours
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 lower than the highest amount and
this
Linking Words
 city is
Sydney
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
London
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 has about 50 sunny days in a year and
this
Linking Words
 figure is the lowest among the three
cities
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.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words london, york, sydney, hours, cities, temperature with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amounts" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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