Some experts believe that when a country is already rich, any additional increase in economic wealth does not make its citizens any more satisfied. Agree or disagree?
Some professionals think that the residents will not satisfied with any additional growth in the economy since
this
nation is already wealthy. In my opinion, I firmly disagree with Linking Words
this
statement because Linking Words
while
there is a limit that Linking Words
money
can bring to us, the increase in economic wealth still makes the citizens more delightful.
First of all, one of the reasons why I think the enhancement of Economic wealth still makes people happy is because there will more problems to tackle. Use synonyms
As a result
of the countries being rich, there will more issues will exist especially about the social. Linking Words
For instance
, nowadays, the authorities and the residents need to face traffic congestion and pollution Linking Words
as a consequence
of people will tend to buy more and more cars than ever, if the nation is rich, they can supply and encourage their populations to commute by vehicles which use environmentally friendly energy. Linking Words
Moreover
, if the country is wealthy, it can provide the latest technology in many categories Linking Words
such
as healthcare and education which makes people’s satisfaction grow.
Linking Words
In contrast
, sometimes economic growth will not make people more cheerful Linking Words
cause
of the rise of the nation’s economy just a part of their life Correct your spelling
because
besides
their well-being and relationships. Linking Words
For example
, Linking Words
while
a person is vibrant, they are a patient who is facing an illness that can not be treated so they will not have true satisfaction. Linking Words
In addition
, we used to have Linking Words
money
to meet our necessary needs Use synonyms
such
as food and a place to live, so when all our needs are supplied we will not care about Linking Words
money
anymore.
In conclusion, I can't entirely agree with the statement that the citizens will not satisfied with the economic growth Use synonyms
due to
the fact that they have used to it because there will be more problems in a developed country than usual so we need Linking Words
money
to solve it and Use synonyms
also
the government can supply the best things for their residents’s essential needs in life.Linking Words
Submitted by cathyngo1512 on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay presents ideas relevant to the prompt, with an introduction and conclusion, but the logical structure could be improved. Ideas should flow more clearly from one to the next, and the relationship between paragraphs should be more apparent. Use linking words and phrases to connect ideas and paragraphs, ensuring that your argument is easy to follow.
task achievement
Work on developing clear and comprehensive ideas throughout the essay, and make sure to directly address the question. The connection between the economic wealth of a country and the satisfaction of its citizens needs to be more explicitly explained with relevant examples to support your points. Furthermore, ensure that your examples are specific and directly tied to the point being made, as this will strengthen your argument and make it more persuasive.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?