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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph below shows the number of annual visits to Australia by overseas residents. The table below gives information on the country of origin where the visitors came from.

The line graph below shows the number of annual visits to Australia by overseas residents. The table below gives information on the country of origin where the visitors came from.
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The line chart gives the
number
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 of oversea
tourists
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 visiting
Australia
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 yearly. The table outlines the
number
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 of
travellors
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travellers
 from various origin countries. Generally speaking, the
number
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 of
travellors
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travellers
 in
Australia
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 steadily increased through the period. Visitors from Japan and South Korea were the majority in 1975 and 2005. As is given illustration, there were almost 10
million
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tourists
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travelled
Wrong verb form
travelling
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 in
this
Linking Words
 country, afterwards, the
number
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 of
tourists
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 increased steadily to 30
million
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 in three decades. In comparison, in 2005, there were
travellors
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travellers
 from other countries
traveled
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travelled
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in
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to
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Australia
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 more than in 1975 by approximately 20
million
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. In detail, in 1975, Over a third of the
tourists
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 came from Japan and South Korea.
Japaneses
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Japanese
 chose their destination
to
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apply
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this
Linking Words
 country 3.2 people, which was the highest, followed by South Koreans came to
Australia
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 2.9
million
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
compare
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compared
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 to thirty years later, they still maintained the majority of people who travelled in
Australia
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.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, tourists, australia, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "gives" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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