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Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that children should not be given homework every day, while others believe that they must get homework every day in order to be successful at school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #children #homework #school
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In
today
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today's
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 society,
the
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apply
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education has become a matter of significant concern. Some people argue that the
homework
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that is
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 given to
pupil
Fix the agreement mistake
pupils
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everyday
Replace the word
every day
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 is crucial for
learning
Correct article usage
the learning
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 curve
while
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 others believe it is
burden
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a burden
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 on the student’s shoulders. In
this
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 essay, I will examine both perspectives before presenting my own opinion. On one hand, those who support daily
homework
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 argue that
pupils
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 can able to learn their lessons with
help
Correct article usage
the help
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Use synonyms
homework
Change preposition
of homework
show examples
 effectively.
For
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example
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example,
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last
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 research shows that repetition
is
Verb problem
plays
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vital
Correct article usage
a vital
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 role
understanding
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in understanding
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 and absorbing
the
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a
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 specific matter.
This
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 suggests that
pupils
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 would be successful
on
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in
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 their
school
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 and life with studying systematically and daily
homework
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 could help in order to achieve learning
goal
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goals
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.
On the other hand
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, proponents of
perpetual
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the perpetual
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homework
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 cycle could be tiring have assert that students have been spending their time
on
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in
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the
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apply
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school
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 for
long
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a long
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times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
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 and
this
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 hectic schedule would
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
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 them detrimentally.
Moreover
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,
pupils
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 can become isolated from their peers
due to
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 daily home
routine
Fix the agreement mistake
routines
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 because they have limited time to spend
for
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on
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 hobbies and private
zone
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zones
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.
Thus
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,
this
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 tiring routine would not
beneficial
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be beneficial
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 for
pupils
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 physically and emotionally Having considered both perspectives, I firmly believe that
curriculum
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the curriculum
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 must be recreated with
balance
Add an article
the balance
a balance
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 between
homework
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 and student’s daily life.
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Furthermore
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Furthermore,
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 teachers and experts should consider different methods in order to improve
learning
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the learning
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 process with minimum
homework
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.
For instance
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, Finland
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 has qualified and successful learning
method
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methods
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 is known around the world because teachers expect
from
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apply
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pupils
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 to learn a subject
on
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in
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the
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apply
show examples
school
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, the issue of daily
homework
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 has valid arguments from both sides.
Nevertheless
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, after weighing the evidence, I am convinced that creating
balance
Add an article
a balance
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 between private and
school
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 life is necessary for
brilliant
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a brilliant
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 future.
Submitted by rose on

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Coherence and Cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is weak, and the ideas are not well connected. Work on building clear and logical connections between the points in the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. Ensure that the introduction presents the topic and the opinion, and the conclusion summarizes the key points and restates the opinion.
Task Achievement
The essay does not fully address the task. Make sure to discuss both views in more detail and provide a balanced analysis. Provide specific and relevant examples to support the points made.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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