Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams, like soccer while other people believe that taking part in individual sports is better, like tennis or swimming. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
In today's society, the debate between the merits of
team
sports
versus individual sports
is a topic of considerable discussion. While
some argue that team
sports
foster camaraderie and cooperation, others advocate for the personal development and self-reliance promoted by individual sports
. This
essay agrees with the latter because it is more beneficial.
On the one hand, team
sports
provide valuable lessons in collaboration and teamwork. In sports
like soccer, basketball, and volleyball, individuals must work together harmoniously to achieve a common goal. Through communication, strategizing, and supporting one another, players learn important social skills that are applicable beyond the field or court. Moreover
, team
sports
often cultivate a sense of belonging and community, as athletes
bond over shared victories and defeats. Despite this
, they may also
entail conflicts and disagreements among teammates, increasing pressure on athletes
.
On the other hand
, individual sports
offer unique benefits that are conducive to personal growth. In activities such
as tennis, swimming, and gymnastics, athletes
are solely responsible for their performance and outcomes. This
fosters self-discipline, resilience, and accountability, as individuals must rely on their own skills and determination to succeed. Additionally
, the solitary nature of individual sports
encourages introspection and self-awareness, allowing athletes
to develop a deeper understanding of their strengths and weaknesses.
In conclusion, the debate between team
sports
and individual sports
is multifaceted, with valid arguments on both sides. While
team
sports
emphasize cooperation and community, individual sports
prioritize personal growth and self-reliance. However
, individual activities are preferable because they instil higher levels of self-reliance, discipline and passion in athletes
.Submitted by natallia.khrenava on
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task achievement
Consider integrating more specific examples to illustrate your points on the benefits and drawbacks of both team and individual sports. This can make your argument more compelling and grounded in reality.
coherence and cohesion
You've done a good job of structuring your essay logically with clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph is well-developed and focuses on distinct ideas, demonstrating excellent coherence and cohesion throughout.
task achievement
To strengthen your task achievement, ensure your personal opinion is clearly stated and substantiated with reasons. While you've provided a conclusion aligning with your viewpoint, integrating your opinion more explicitly throughout could clarify your stance.
task achievement
You adeptly discussed both sides of the argument (team sports vs. individual sports), showing a balanced understanding before presenting your own viewpoint. This is excellent for a well-rounded discussion.
language proficiency
The essay demonstrates a high level of language proficiency, with varied sentence structures and appropriate vocabulary, enhancing the quality of your argument.
coherence and cohesion
The clear logical structure of your essay, with a strong introduction and conclusion, effectively guides the reader through your discussion. This is a key strength in your writing.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?