IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people consider price as the most important thing to think about when buying products (such as cell phone) or service (e.g. medical treatment). Do you agree or disagree?

#people #price #products #cell #phone #service #e #g #treatment
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It is thought that the price of a product or
service
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 is essential to consider before deciding to
purchase
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 something.
While
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 I agree that
people
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 need to consider carefully before spending large amounts of money in order to avoid debt, the necessity of the
purchase
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 must play a role in the decision to buy. It is essential that
people
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 take time to reflect on how much money they should spend on an
item
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 or
service
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, and whether or not they can actually afford it within their available budget. Over the
last
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 few decades, the rise in personal debt has escalated as
people
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 are tempted to buy goods and services
due to
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 pressure from advertising and the increasing access to credit cards.
For
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this
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 reason, any
purchase
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that is
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 costly and is bought using credit ought to be well thought through, particularly when the
item
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 is a luxury
item
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that is
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 not actually essential.
On the other hand
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, there are circumstances when the cost of a
service
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 or
item
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 becomes an irrelevant consideration. A typical example of
this
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 would be when someone’s life depends on a product or
service
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, namely a new treatment for a disease not offered through normal channels. In
such
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 as case, a person’s budget becomes redundant and the expense should not deter someone from proceeding with the
purchase
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.
However
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, these situations are rare and in most circumstances price out to be considered so that excessive spending is planned and budgeted to avoid serious debt problems. In conclusion,
people
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 should deliberate carefully before spending large sums of money on goods and services, except in case of dire necessity.
Submitted by s_syedy on

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task achievement
Good development of ideas and clear position presented. Make sure to provide specific and relevant examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure is generally well-maintained. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that ideas are linked coherently.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a strong introduction and conclusion, and the main points are generally well-supported. Ensure that each paragraph follows a clear, logical order, and that linking words are used effectively to connect ideas.
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