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Writing Samples
Band 7

The map show the changes that took place in the bookstore before and after 2000.

The map show the changes that took place in the bookstore before and after 2000.
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The map illustrates the changes that occurred in the bookstore from 2000 to the present.
Overall
Linking Words
, only locations of the service desk, travel
books
Use synonyms
' and new
books
Use synonyms
' shelves remained constant
while
Linking Words
 other
categories
Use synonyms
 relocated throughout the period. In 2000,
wide
Correct article usage
the wide
show examples
 shelf on the left of the entrance was full of
fiction
Use synonyms
books
Use synonyms
 including the part
at the end
Linking Words
 of the wall. Non-
fiction
Use synonyms
books
Use synonyms
 used to be adjacent to the service desk which took place on the right side of the entrance. Art, hobbies and cookery
books
Use synonyms
 were in between the non-
fiction
Use synonyms
 and
fiction
Use synonyms
categories
Use synonyms
, vertically. In the present design, the
fiction
Use synonyms
 shelf is divided into five
categories
Use synonyms
 where art
books
Use synonyms
 take place in the closest location to the entrance and followed by hobbies, cookery,
fiction
Use synonyms
 and non-
fiction
Use synonyms
categories
Use synonyms
, sequentially. There are
also
Linking Words
 three new tables with four chairs each, in front of the cafe for the customers. The size and shape of the bookstore did not alter over time.

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words books, categories, fiction with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "present" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • layout
  • renovation
  • facilities
  • digitalization
  • footprint
  • inventory
  • customer service
  • browsing experience
  • accessibility
  • enhancements
  • modernization
  • space utilization
  • technology integration
  • customer preferences
  • retail trends
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