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Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects . Other people think that, in today's world , subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both views and give your opinion .

#people #history #school #subjects #world #science #technology
Many individuals opine that studying History is more significant than
subjects
 like science and technology in contemporary times.
However
, from my point of view, I believe that schools should give more attention to teaching
subjects
 like Mathematics, Science and Technology because a thorough understanding of these
subjects
 helps in every aspect of life.
Firstly
, in my opinion, these
subjects
 develop a very important skill which is critical thinking. To explain
further
, critical thinking skills help in analyzing different points of view and based on that it supports making wise decisions.
As a result
, students who invest a good amount of time learning these
subjects
 naturally become smarter than others.
Moreover
, well-analyzed actions always have better consequences in future than instinctive actions, and learning these
subjects
 automatically makes students think and analyze before making any decisions.
By contrast
, a portion of individuals state that History teaches students to learn from their past mistakes. Pupils can get tons of knowledge about what mistakes humans have made in the past and what were the adverse ramifications which in turn guide them in making better choices in future.
Although
 historical knowledge is paramount in deciding future actions, a scientific approach to analysing those past events is more important.
Therefore
,
this
 makes it clear that studying STEM
subjects
 is more advantageous. To summarise, it is not the historical knowledge that makes people make smart decisions,
instead
, it is the critical thinking skills which help individuals to carefully analyze past events and make smarter and wiser choices.
Hence
, I strongly believe that teaching science should be given more emphasis than History.
Submitted by aayushvsanghvi8 on

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Task Achievement
Your essay provides a clear opinion and attempts to discuss both views as the prompt requests; however, it could benefit from a more balanced exploration of both perspectives. Consider dedicating a similar length and depth of analysis to both sides of the argument before presenting your own opinion.
Task Achievement
Work on expanding your paragraphs with more specific examples and evidence. While you do offer some reasons for your views, incorporating detailed examples or citing studies/reports could greatly strengthen your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure, but there's room for improvement in linking your ideas more cohesively. Using a wider range of linking words and phrases beyond 'Firstly,' 'Moreover,' and 'Therefore' can enhance the flow of your essay. Also, consider developing a clearer connection between your introduction and conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
While your introduction and conclusion are present, they could be more impactful. Consider starting with a hook in your introduction to engage readers and ending with a more powerful statement that emphasizes the importance of your argument in the conclusion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial
  • comprehend
  • retrospect
  • gain insights
  • reflect on
  • sharpen
  • evaluate
  • significance
  • heritage
  • legacy
  • advent
  • breakthroughs
  • sustain
  • sustainability
  • revolutions
  • empowered
  • overcome
  • transform
  • advancements
  • collaboration
  • cooperation
  • diversity
  • fulfilling
  • promote
  • facilitate
  • prosperity
  • enhance
  • foster
  • foundation
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