Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects . Other people think that, in today's world , subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both views and give your opinion .
Many individuals opine that studying History is more significant than
subjects
like science and technology in contemporary times. Use synonyms
However
, from my point of view, I believe that schools should give more attention to teaching Linking Words
subjects
like Mathematics, Science and Technology because a thorough understanding of these Use synonyms
subjects
helps in every aspect of life.
Use synonyms
Firstly
, in my opinion, these Linking Words
subjects
develop a very important skill which is critical thinking. To explain Use synonyms
further
, critical thinking skills help in analyzing different points of view and based on that it supports making wise decisions. Linking Words
As a result
, students who invest a good amount of time learning these Linking Words
subjects
naturally become smarter than others. Use synonyms
Moreover
, well-analyzed actions always have better consequences in future than instinctive actions, and learning these Linking Words
subjects
automatically makes students think and analyze before making any decisions.
Use synonyms
By contrast
, a portion of individuals state that History teaches students to learn from their past mistakes. Pupils can get tons of knowledge about what mistakes humans have made in the past and what were the adverse ramifications which in turn guide them in making better choices in future. Linking Words
Although
historical knowledge is paramount in deciding future actions, a scientific approach to analysing those past events is more important. Linking Words
Therefore
, Linking Words
this
makes it clear that studying STEM Linking Words
subjects
is more advantageous.
To summarise, it is not the historical knowledge that makes people make smart decisions, Use synonyms
instead
, it is the critical thinking skills which help individuals to carefully analyze past events and make smarter and wiser choices. Linking Words
Hence
, I strongly believe that teaching science should be given more emphasis than History.Linking Words
Submitted by aayushvsanghvi8 on
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Task Achievement
Your essay provides a clear opinion and attempts to discuss both views as the prompt requests; however, it could benefit from a more balanced exploration of both perspectives. Consider dedicating a similar length and depth of analysis to both sides of the argument before presenting your own opinion.
Task Achievement
Work on expanding your paragraphs with more specific examples and evidence. While you do offer some reasons for your views, incorporating detailed examples or citing studies/reports could greatly strengthen your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure, but there's room for improvement in linking your ideas more cohesively. Using a wider range of linking words and phrases beyond 'Firstly,' 'Moreover,' and 'Therefore' can enhance the flow of your essay. Also, consider developing a clearer connection between your introduction and conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
While your introduction and conclusion are present, they could be more impactful. Consider starting with a hook in your introduction to engage readers and ending with a more powerful statement that emphasizes the importance of your argument in the conclusion.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example