In Some Countries An Increasing Number Of People Are Suffering From Health Problems As A Result Of Eating Too Much Fast Food
It is often argued that the number of individuals who eat junk
food
has increased in some countries, consequently
; they have experienced health problems. This
essay will discuss this
issue, and we will suggest some solutions.
At the outset, it is observed that a lot of people
nowadays prefer eating fast food
like MacDonald, or KFC, particularly in developed countries, as a result
of certain reasons. For example
, they are so busy, and they do not have enough time to cook fresh food
. In addition
to that, this
type of new food
is delicious food
, which encourages youth to eat more of it. Furthermore
, the cost of junk food
is not exorbitant, so; it causes the widespread of it, especially among young adults. Unfortunately, this
kind of food
causes some common health problems, for instance
; a lot of humankind who eat this
food
suffer from obesity, diabetes, or cardiovascular diseases.
Hence
, all people
should be aware of the risks of eating fast food
because if they continue consuming it, their health will be in danger, and it will be better for them to eat natural food
, as; it will keep them healthy. Furthermore
, the government should encourage business people
to set up restaurants to make fresh food
, so; natural food
will be available everywhere such
as eating more fruits and vegetables. On top of that, the authority should make campaigns and seminars to increase people
’s awareness about the importance of natural food
.
In conclusion, folks should keep themselves away from all kinds of junk food
because they have lots of cons, and if people
in any country are healthy, the
economic status Change the word
their
of
Change preposition
apply
it
will be better, Correct pronoun usage
apply
hence
; the government has a crucial role to solve
Change preposition
in solving
this
problem.Submitted by sm710129 on
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grammar
Try to avoid starting sentences with conjunctions like 'For' and 'And'. Instead, use a variety of linking words and phrases to create more complex sentences.
content
Try to be more precise when extending your points. 'Unfortunately, this kind of food causes some common health problems, for instance; a lot of humankind who eat this food suffer from obesity, diabetes, or cardiovascular diseases.' Here, instead of vaguely mentioning these diseases, providing statistical information or specific examples would strengthen your argument.
vocabulary
You could further improve your language by using more academic synonyms for common words. For instance, instead of 'healthy', consider using 'nutritious', 'wholesome', or 'beneficial'. Instead of 'people', try 'individuals', 'populace', or 'citizens'.
grammar
Avoid excessive usage of semicolons. They should be used to separate related independent clauses, not to replace periods or commas. Correct usage of punctuation is important for improving your score.