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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children whoc are taught to cooperate rather than compete become useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your opinion

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In today’s fast-paced world, there is considerable debate about whether young people should be encouraged to compete or cooperate. Both approaches have their merits, but
competition
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 plays a more significant role in shaping the future success of youth. Proponents of
competition
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 argue that it helps build resilience, confidence, and motivation. Competing encourages children to push their limits, learn from failure, and develop a strong work ethic. It prepares them for the challenges of adulthood, where personal achievement and ambition often determine success. Successful individuals, particularly in fields like sports, business, and the arts, often credit their accomplishments to the drive that
competition
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 fosters.
On the other hand
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, supporters of
cooperation
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 highlight its importance in developing social skills and teamwork. By collaborating, children learn empathy, communication, and how to work towards shared goals.
Cooperation
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 teaches that success is not always individual and that collective effort can be just as valuable.
However
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,
while
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cooperation
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 is vital in social and professional settings, it may not push children to strive for personal growth in the same way that
competition
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 does. In conclusion,
while
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cooperation
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 is important for social cohesion,
competition
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 offers the essential motivation and drive needed for personal achievement. Encouraging young people to engage in healthy
competition
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 can help them develop the resilience and ambition necessary to thrive in life. Ultimately, a balance of both
competition
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 and
cooperation
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 is key to preparing young people for the challenges of the future.

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content
Expand on the examples or case studies to provide deeper insights into how competition and cooperation shape success.
structure
Ensure that each paragraph clearly states a main idea with appropriate topic sentences to guide the reader.
structure
The introduction clearly sets up the debate and outlines the significance of the topic.
content
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and provides a clear stance on the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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