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Band 7.5

Young people are often influenced in their behaviours and situation by others in the same age. This called ‘Peer Pressure’. Do the disadvantages outweigh the advantages?

#people #behaviours #situation #age #‘peer #pressure’
Nowadays, children are regularly influenced in their behaviours and situation by others at the same age.
This
 problem is called ‘Peer Stress’. In my point of view, I personally believe that its disadvantages outweigh the advantages. The
pressure
 called ‘Peer stress’ on the
child
 has 2 benefits. The main strong point is that the
pressure
 from peer people makes them more hard-working.
In particular
, with the successes of other
kids
 comes envy from some parents, so they measure them with their
kids
 and cause
pressure
 on their children to study or work harder.
For instance
, if a friend of yours had won some prizes, your families would have measured and put
pressure
 to make them study harder for better performance. Another additional positive aspect is that living in a
pressure
 environment for a long time can create new good disciplines, habits and manners for themselves, they can improve their endurance and
thus
 the
child
 can offer stress from society
such
 as work or business.
Moreover
, they may become self-awareness and self-care.
Although
 its plus points are very great, the weaknesses are very harmful and terrible to
kids
. The main negative aspect is that it harms young people’s mental health. Children who offer too much stress always feel uncomfortable or angry and they don’t want to do anything. That affects their relationships with others, especially families and relatives.
Furthermore
, the
child
 may have a bad character or lose control and do something terribly. An additional drawback is the effect on their physical health. The
child
 will always feel uncomfortable or angry if they work a lot. In some cases, they may have some dangerous diseases. In conclusion, parents shouldn’t cause too much
pressure
 for their
kids
, they should allow the
child
 to do something entertaining, that can reduce stress.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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