You have bought a new mobile phone and in a few days of purchase, it has stopped working. You have spoken to the company representative a week ago but it has still not been repaired. Write a letter to the company. In your letter, » introduce yourself » explain the situation » say what action you would like the company to take now

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Dear Sir or Madam, I trust you are doing well. The purpose of

this

Linking Words

letter is to express my dissatisfaction with my recent purchase from your company. First and Foremost,

Myself

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

Ruchin Patel.

On the

Change preposition

The

show examples

last

Linking Words

Friday, I bought the brand new iPhone 15 Pro in Natural Titanium

color

Change the spelling

colour

show examples

with

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

256 GB of storage. To top off my

phone

Use synonyms

with the latest tech products, I

also

Linking Words

purchased a wireless charger and a smart case.

However

Linking Words

, on

the Monday

Change the article

Monday

a Monday

show examples

the

phone

Use synonyms

stopped working all of a sudden.

As a consequence

Linking Words

, I rebooted the

phone

Use synonyms

and

also

Linking Words

went back to the store to meet with the technician to resolve the problem but none of that worked and the

phone

Use synonyms

is now only a

paper weight

Correct your spelling

paperweight

show examples

Therefore

Linking Words

, since the device is still under the manufacturing

warrenty

Correct your spelling

warranty

, I would like you to either replace the

phone

Use synonyms

or send an address to ship

this

Linking Words

phone

Use synonyms

to repair by the manufacturer at your cost. I hope that you help me fix

this

Linking Words

issue immediately as I do not have any backup device. Thank you. Yours faithfully, Ruchin Patel

ruchin27Sun Jan 05 2025

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coherence cohesion

The letter could be even more structured by clearly separating the introduction, explanation, and request sections with clearer paragraph breaks.

task achievement

Ensure all details are accurate such as checking spelling for words like 'warranty'.

task achievement

The letter clearly introduces the writer and the issue at hand right at the beginning, which helps in providing context to the reader.

task achievement

The request for action is clearly stated with options for the company to choose from, demonstrating strong task achievement.

task achievement

The letter maintains a polite and formal tone throughout, which is appropriate for such correspondence.

coherence cohesion

The flow of information is smooth, with each part of the letter following logically from the one before.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

9 paragraphs

183 words

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that the internet is increasing the gap between the rich and poo, while others argue that it help to reduce the gap. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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Multicultural societies, where people of different groups live together, bring more benefits than drawbacks to a country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Maintaining public libraries is a waste of money since computer technology can replace their functions. Do you agree or disagree?