The maps underneath describes the changes that have taken place in and around Queen Mary Hospital since its building in 1960 till 2000

The maps below show

replacement

Fix the agreement mistake

replacements

show examples

in the area around Queen Mary Hospital for three different years. As the Hospital remains in the same block over the year

as well as

the car park area. In the year

1960

Add a comma

,1960

show examples

there were only 4 blocks with equal proportions, which are the Hospital located on the right corner facing the main road with a Car park across it. On the left side of the

Hospital

Add a comma

,Hospital

show examples

there was a Shopping

centre

. Across the Shopping

centre

, Farmland was built . In the year 1980, The Shopping

centre

was replaced with two building side to side of the same size, those were the Cancer

centre

and the Pharmacy.

addition

Add a comma

,addition

show examples

Farmland was

also

replaced with Nursing School building.

Moreover

in 2000 Cancer

centre

Capitalize word

Centre

show examples

was expanding,

Correct word choice

and it

show examples

took over the Nursing school block. Where the Nursing school was downsized to be half of the car park area.

While

the other remained the same.

Submitted by gianinasastra on Tue Aug 01 2023

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words centre with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "remains" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

▼

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

156 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

infrastructure
expansion
facilities
road patterns
specialized clinics
green spaces
natural features
residential development
commercial development
traffic flow
accessibility
capacity

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The maps underneath describes the changes that have taken place in and around Queen Mary Hospital since its building in 1960 till 2000

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