Some peopleSome people believe that adults get motivated to exercise and play sports because of the major sports events on TV such as the Olympic Games and Football World Cup. Others say that there are many ways apart from TV to encourage them to exercise. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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There is a common belief that youngsters get attracted to

sports

Use synonyms

by watching them on television because they get motivation from the success and stardom of other players.

However

Linking Words

, many people argue that apart from TV, there are different ways to indulge them in exercise like health, opportunities, and careers. I firmly believe that major

sports

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events are a big source that increases

sports

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fever but numerous other factors affect adult's thinking.

Firstly

Linking Words

, major

sports

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events like the Olympics influence adults to pursue it as a career option. The craze for winners and their prize-winning moments makes a great impact on children when they watch them on television receiving

honor

Change the spelling

honour

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and making their nation proud.

For instance

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, in 2008 when Abhinav Bindra won his first Olympic medal for India in shooting, many youngsters adopted shooting as a passion and aimed to make their country as proud as him.

In addition

Linking Words

to that, the media coverage and awards given to the winners inspire adults on a path to achieve big. It helps to give them direction and motivate them to work hard on their physics and body. They try to copy their

role

Use synonyms

model and inspire others towards health and exercise.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, several other factors affect youth's choice for choosing

sports

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as a career. The family background plays a vital

role

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in a child's choice if there is a family member who plays a game or is involved in exercise or physical training, it's natural for them to incline towards

sports

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Furthermore

Linking Words

, financial condition

also

Linking Words

affects youngsters' choices.

For example

Linking Words

, shooting equipment is way more expensive as compared to wrestling. If an adult has strong financial support he/she may choose to play shooting but others will not be able to continue whether they have more skills or not. In conclusion, I believe that media coverage plays a crucial

role

Use synonyms

in inspiring young ones to pursue a

sports

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career by showing them their success stories.

However

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, ground support

such

Linking Words

as finance, family, and background are key factors that play a crucial

role

Use synonyms

behind the scenes to make the dream a reality.

amarjot755Mon Jul 15 2024

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general

Ensure your introduction clearly aligns with the main body paragraphs. It is important to introduce the discussion and your opinion explicitly and connect it strongly to the subsequent arguments.

task response

In the main body, ensure each paragraph has a clear central topic and avoid blending different ideas in the same paragraph.

coherence and cohesion

Work on providing clear transitions between your ideas. Make sure each paragraph logically follows from the previous one to ensure smooth progression across the text.

task response

You've provided relevant and specific examples that help illustrate your points effectively.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a well-defined structure with a distinct introduction and conclusion, which helps in guiding the reader through your arguments.

task response

The essay presents balanced views on both sides of the argument, providing a comprehensive discussion.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

352 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

role models
showcase
spectacle
media coverage
national pride
viewers
participate
accessible
educate
local community initiatives
sports clubs
fitness classes
government programs
corporate wellness programs
incentives
facilities
organized activities
healthy lifestyle
social influences
sustainable
personal approach

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