IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that museums should be enjoyable places to entertain people, while others believe that the purpose of museums is to educate. Discuss both views and give you own opinion.

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Museums
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is
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are
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 a major global industry that connects
people
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 across cultures to growth. Some argue that
museums
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is
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are
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 enjoyable places to entertain.
This
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 essay will discuss
both
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 perspectives before presenting my own view on the issue.
For example
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, interactive exhibits, virtual reality experiences, and multimedia presentations can make learning fun and immersive.
Additionally
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,
museums
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 can attract tourists by offering exciting displays, art installations, and cultural performances.
This
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 approach not only makes
museums
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 enjoyable but
also
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 helps generate revenue to maintain and improve their collections.
On the other hand
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, some
people
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 believe that the primary function of
museums
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 is to educate the public.
Museums
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 preserve important historical
artifacts
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artefacts
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, scientific discoveries, and cultural heritage, allowing
people
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 to learn about the past and present. Educational exhibits provide detailed explanations and factual information that help visitors gain knowledge.
For instance
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, natural history
museums
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 teach about evolution and biodiversity,
while
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 art
museums
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 help
people
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 appreciate different artistic movements. Without a strong educational purpose,
museums
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 might lose their significance as places of learning and intellectual growth. In my opinion,
museums
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 should serve
both
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 purposes—they should be
both
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 educational and entertaining. Learning does not have to be boring, and entertainment can be a powerful tool for education. By incorporating interactive and engaging methods,
museums
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 can make knowledge more accessible and enjoyable for all visitors. At the same time, they should ensure that their primary mission remains to educate
people
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 about history, science, and culture.
To conclude
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,
while
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 some
people
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 see
museums
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 as places of entertainment, others believe their main goal is education. In reality,
both
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 aspects are important.
Museums
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 should find a balance between education and entertainment to attract visitors
while
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 preserving their role as
centers
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centres
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 of knowledge. By doing so, they can continue to inspire and educate future generations in an engaging way.

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grammar
Consider rephrasing 'museums is a major global industry' to 'museums are a major global industry' for grammatical accuracy.
clarity
In the introduction, clearly state your opinion to provide a clearer roadmap for the essay.
examples
Include more specific examples that resonate with both the educational and entertaining aspects of museums to strengthen your argument.
content
The essay effectively discusses both perspectives on the role of museums.
content
The conclusion summarizes the key points and reflects on the balance between education and entertainment in museums.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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