In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?
People
have different views about buying a house
or renting one
, some people
may think that they feel stress
to buy Wrong verb form
stressed
one
while
others think that it’s
cheaper and less responsible to rent a home. In my opinion, owing
a home is significant for our life.
There are some relevant reasons for Correct your spelling
owning
this
issue. First,
we were kidnapping
by traditional values, Wrong verb form
kidnapped
it’s
very common in some countries. Taking China as an example, a large amount
of Change the quantifier
number
people
would work hard for a house
because they educated
by Add a missing verb
were educated
parents’
generation that owning a Correct pronoun usage
their parents’
house
plays a vital role in our life, particular
in Change the word
particularly
male’s
responsibility, if a man is able to purchase value properties, he is easier to find a wife. Change noun form
male
Second,
advertisements of real estate advocate people
to buy a house
, convenient
facilities and locations are influenced Correct word choice
and convenient
on
Change preposition
by
people
’s judgements. Third,
renting a house
is risky that
the landlord wants to take it back, or they would charge your Correct word choice
because
money
for unreasonable excuses.
However
, with
the reasons I mention above, I still think owning a Change preposition
for
house
is very important for people
and we should put it in a positive situation. I truly understand that it’s
a hard mode the
time we start to pay housing Correct article usage
apply
mortgage
Fix the agreement mistake
mortgages
especially
in big Add the comma(s)
,especially
city
, there are two steps Fix the agreement mistake
cities
can
definitely be considered to tackle Correct pronoun usage
that can
this
problem. First
Change the article
The first
one
is that we need to make a plan that where we will settle down in the future, urban
, suburban or rural Change preposition
in urban
area
, some Fix the agreement mistake
areas
people
would work in big
city and save Add an article
a big
the big
money
to purchase house
in Add an article
a house
hometown
. When we retire, we still have a Correct pronoun usage
their hometown
house
to settle down. Second,
owning is house
is necessary for a family, you can design our
ideal homeCorrect pronoun usage
your
,
Remove the comma
apply
while
renting a house
always concern Change preposition
with that
that
deconstruction of Correct determiner usage
the
house
appliances. While
there is no question that it will be stressful to have a house
, it’s
clear that you pay landlord
Correct article usage
the landlord
money
to rent a house
rather than paying money
for yourself.
In conclusion, owning a house
rather than renting one
is an important decision for many people
because we have to take financial problem
, traditional values, Fix the agreement mistake
problems
building
a family into consideration. I recommend that we need to make some plans before we confirm Correct word choice
and building
final
decision.Add an article
the final
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite