IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extend do you agree or disagree withs this statement?

#governments #money #railways #roads #withs
Well, in
this
 global age, it certainly seems true that central authorities could have spent
money
 on railroads
instead
 of
roads
 to transport vast numbers of
people
 and goods. In
this
 article, I would like to explain these points and draw a clear conclusion. First of all, it has been shown that
people
 may prefer to travel by subway because it is convenient and convenient to reach their destination over road vehicles. Certainly, heavy loads of good quality can easily be transported by train.
For example
, many developed countries may have driverless electric subways.
Therefore
,
people
 should take the subway often. The reason is that the government should spend half of the remuneration on the railways.
On the other hand
, because trains take longer to reach their destination, most individuals in
this
 generation choose to drive their own cars or take public transportation. It is important to note that vehicles are having trouble moving along
roads
 because of fractures in the pavement and a lack of facilities, which results in accidents. As an example, India cannot compare to other countries in having enough road amenities.
However
, the government should spend an equal amount of
money
 on
roads
. Given how expensive it is to maintain or make changes to railroads, it seems sensible that many of the points made above advocated for the government to spend more
money
 on
roads
 than on railroads.
Furthermore
, a lot of
people
 could like using public transportation when going to work.
As a result
, the authority should split equal
money
 into both railways and
roads
 to live a peaceful life.
Submitted by mg.mohiuddin76 on

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task response
Your essay contains several grammatical errors and lacks clarity in expressing ideas. The vocabulary and sentence structure need improvement to convey your points effectively. Additionally, the content is not organized coherently, making it difficult for the reader to follow your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear and coherent structure. It is essential to organize your ideas logically and provide clear supporting details for your main points. Consider using transition words and phrases to improve the flow and coherence of your essay. Additionally, make sure to introduce and conclude your essay effectively to provide a clear framework for your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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