In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

#countries #people #work #travel #year #school #university

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In recent years, some

people

have been discussing whether the benefits of sharing a house with others overshadow the drawbacks or not, with

people

believing the downsides outweigh the benefits. In

this

essay, I will debate and explain my opinion about

this

topic. On the one hand, there are some problems in living with others for two reasons.

Firstly

, those who use the same house need to respect their personal lifestyle, which gets slightly stressed by each other.

Additionally

, living with friends makes it difficult to spend personal time, which might not focus solely on their tasks and situations.

Furthermore

, they should control the time that use

bathroom

Add an article

the bathroom

show examples

or even take showers.

For example

, many

people

who live with

another

Correct quantifier usage

other

show examples

folk have experienced a lot of inconvenient situations

due to

these reasons.

On the other hand

, sharing housing with

people

exerts a positive effect on the budget.

Firstly

, they can save money because they pay together for electronic fees and water tax.

Secondly

, when one has some issues or bad emotions they are able to express their emotion and share their difficult things in various fields, which can resolve significant stress.

For instance

according to

a recent survey, living with friends is beneficial to get less stress. In my opinion,

while

it is undeniable that some

people

are exposed to some negative influences through sharing housing, I firmly believe that living with others helps their health.

Submitted by garim4645 on Thu Jul 18 2024

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task achievement

Ensure that all main points are fully developed with sufficient detail and depth. The essay should tackle both advantages and disadvantages equally for a balanced response.

coherence cohesion

Try to use more varied sentence structures and vocabulary to express your ideas, as this can make your essay more engaging and demonstrate a higher level of proficiency in English.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that your paragraphs have clear and logical transitions. Each paragraph should follow naturally from the one before, making the essay more coherent overall.

coherence cohesion

The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, making it easy to follow the writer's main argument.

task achievement

The examples used are relevant and help to illustrate the points being made, which strengthens the argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

236 words

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In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people believe that everyone has a right to have access to university education and that governments should make it free for all students no matter what financial background they have. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some people think the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better, alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved?

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.