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In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

#countries #people #work #travel #year #school #university
In recent years, some
people
 have been discussing whether the benefits of sharing a house with others overshadow the drawbacks or not, with
people
 believing the downsides outweigh the benefits. In
this
 essay, I will debate and explain my opinion about
this
 topic. On the one hand, there are some problems in living with others for two reasons.
Firstly
, those who use the same house need to respect their personal lifestyle, which gets slightly stressed by each other.
Additionally
, living with friends makes it difficult to spend personal time, which might not focus solely on their tasks and situations.
Furthermore
, they should control the time that use
bathroom
Add an article
the bathroom
show examples
 or even take showers.
For example
, many
people
 who live with
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 folk have experienced a lot of inconvenient situations
due to
 these reasons.
On the other hand
, sharing housing with
people
 exerts a positive effect on the budget.
Firstly
, they can save money because they pay together for electronic fees and water tax.
Secondly
, when one has some issues or bad emotions they are able to express their emotion and share their difficult things in various fields, which can resolve significant stress.
For instance
,
according to
 a recent survey, living with friends is beneficial to get less stress. In my opinion,
while
 it is undeniable that some
people
 are exposed to some negative influences through sharing housing, I firmly believe that living with others helps their health.
Submitted by garim4645 on

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task achievement
Ensure that all main points are fully developed with sufficient detail and depth. The essay should tackle both advantages and disadvantages equally for a balanced response.
coherence cohesion
Try to use more varied sentence structures and vocabulary to express your ideas, as this can make your essay more engaging and demonstrate a higher level of proficiency in English.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your paragraphs have clear and logical transitions. Each paragraph should follow naturally from the one before, making the essay more coherent overall.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, making it easy to follow the writer's main argument.
task achievement
The examples used are relevant and help to illustrate the points being made, which strengthens the argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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