The chart below shows global sales of the top five mobile phone brands between 2009 and 2013.

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The bar chart illustrates the comparison of the

amount

Change the quantifier

number

show examples

phones

Use synonyms

by the top five mobile phone manufacturers sold globally in the years 2009, 2011, and 2013.

It is clear that

Linking Words

Nokia had the highest number of

phones

Use synonyms

sold globally in 2009 and 2011,

however

Linking Words

Samsung

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became the most popular among these phone brands in 2013.

Samsung

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and

Apple

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saw the biggest increase in sales over

this

Linking Words

5-year period. In 2009, Nokia sold nearly 450

million

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mobile

phones

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, which was almost double the number of

phones

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sold by the second most successful manufacturer,

Samsung

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However

Linking Words

, over the next four years, Nokia’s phone sales decreased by approximately 200

million

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units,

whereas

Linking Words

Samsung

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saw an increase of a similar amount. By 2013,

Samsung

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became the market leader with a selling number of close to 450

million

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units. The other three top-selling handset brands between 2009 and 2013 were

Apple

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, LG, and ZTE. In the year of 2009, these companies sold around 25

million

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, 125

million

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, and 50

million

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mobile

phones

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respectively, but

Apple

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surpassed the other two manufacturers in 2011. In 2013, units of

phones

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sold by

Apple

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had reached 150

million

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, whilst LG saw declining sales and the figures for ZTE rose only slightly.

maokaiyi0423Wed Aug 02 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words phones, samsung, apple, million with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.

▼

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

203 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Global sales
Mobile phone brands
Market share
Trends
Growth
Decline
Technological advancements
Innovation
Consumer preferences
Demographics
Market dominance
Brand loyalty
Comparative analysis
Sales figures
Data interpretation

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Advertising is dominating societies around the world. Whilst some believe that advertisements are helpful and impart knowledge about different products, I believe that these advertisements sometimes can be misleading and also increase the cost of items.

The chart below shows global sales of the top five mobile phone brands between 2009 and 2013.

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

The current trend in education is to move away from traditional exams and instead have continuous assessment over the school year? what did you think of this trend ?

Some feel governments should invest primarily in educating the young, while others feel this is not a good use of resources. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In some countries, younger people are neglecting their right to vote. What problems does this cause, and what are some possible solutions?

Nowadays, some people believe advertising is useful and informative. Others believe advertising gives false information about the products and increase the price of goods.Discuss both views and give your own opinion.