IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Student should spent time on working before thier University Study ? Do you extent agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some people believe that pupils should do
part-timeday
Correct your spelling
part-time day
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
show examples
 before starting their University college . It is agreed by some
students
Use synonyms
 that should spend some hours working,
therefore
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 writer will show the agreement with
this
Linking Words
 opinion. It is vital to understand that children who almost come to University should be allowed to find some work to grind money before going to University .Because the experience and life skill that they get from their work is
such
Linking Words
 as important , it will absolutely turn them into an adult.
Moreover
Linking Words
,as you can see when graduate spends
hour
Add an article
an hour
show examples
 doing part-time work the money they grind is very helpful
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 their school fee and help their parent a lot in a better life . For a common example in Germany pupils who spent more days working
becoming
Wrong verb form
become
show examples
 more successful than children who don't do part-time
jobs
Use synonyms
. Another point worth considering is that junior who has
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
job can easy in finding their dream and follow that dream . If they find suitable
jobs
Use synonyms
 for them soon , they can choose the subjects that fit the
jobs
Use synonyms
 and focus on learning and training with the lesson . What is ,more
students
Use synonyms
 who
works
Change the verb form
work
show examples
 soon I think they can be good at communicating and have more skill to dealing or presentation with crowded better than normal
students
Use synonyms
 so that when they grow up they will help their parents and the community a lot .
Inconclusion
Correct your spelling
In conclusion
show examples
 it is very helpful and necessary
to
Change preposition
for to
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 do part-time
jobs
Use synonyms
 soon.Because everyone will respect them more .
Linking Words
Furthermore
Add a comma
,Furthermore
show examples
 I'm sure they can follow and go through with their dream and have a better life than the other
students
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: