With the pressures on today’s young people to succeed academically, some people believe that non-academic subjects at school (eg: physical education and cookery) should be removed from the syllabus so that children can concentrate wholly on academic subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#pressures #today’s #people #subjects #school #eg #education #cookery #syllabus #children

Some

people

believe youngsters should have taken only academic

subjects

at school. I completely disagree with

this

idea and would like to explain it from my perspective.

To begin

with, the education system in many countries is prepared to answer all necessities,

such

as mathematics, and gardening. During the non-academic lesson time, young

people

have a chance to be interested in different areas which they like doing.

This

feeling helps to work in non-pressure situations.

As a result

this

situation, young

people

could focus on easily next academic session.

On the other hand

, most young

people

don't have any idea what to do in their future life as a business.

This

opportunity gives them to understand which activity fits their persona and character.

According to

some scientific reports, being keen on non-academic

subjects

is one of the best ways of

relaxation

Replace the word

relaxing

show examples

at school. because of

this

situation, teenagers are encouraged to learn something

besides

academic

subjects

by their teachers and families.

Thus

, youngster and their families could learn about children's abilities and strong ways in their personal life. All things to be considered, the education system should include both academic and non-academic

subjects

to prepare children for real life.

Submitted by melekevirgen on Wed Aug 02 2023

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

200 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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