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Band 7

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country.

#governments #progress #people #country
A group of individuals present the view that reaching to enhanced economic situation is the key factor in a society and it will be a decisive factor in papulation's happiness,
whereas
 others believe the improvement in other approaches is as vital as economic one. I strongly agree with the latter opinion since the importance of other human needs should be considered
besides
money
. On one hand, some people justifiably believe that prosperity in every field should be allocated by the governments. As these improvements offer a wealth of welfare
such
 as security, accommodations, freedom and etc. From a medical standpoint, it is highly important to be healthy.
Therefore
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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reinforcement in the healthcare
system
 is equally important as earning more
money
. Owing to better health circumstances, it is required a great education
system
 as well.
Consequently
, the education
system
 should nurture adept doctors and nurses.
For instance
, some African countries have been improving the basic amenities like better medical situation which has resulted in less suffering from a disease.
On the other hand
, another group of papulation argue that earning a great deal of
money
 is the most impressive trait of society. They insist that
this
 action accelerates the process of achieving dreams and aims.
However
, I do not find
this
 debate convincing as wealth no longer plays a crucial role in personal satisfaction. Despite the importance of property, people should be safe and healthy to utilize that earnings so as to their purposes.
Moreover
, prosperity in every other approach not only provides a higher standard of living but
also
 boosts the greatness fleeing in a country.
As a result
, these other successes will be available, if the governments give a head to future improvement and not isolated to economy.
To conclude
, in my view,
although
money
 is an integral part of life, other progresses solidify people’s satisfaction as well
such
 as reinforcing the health care
system
.
Submitted by fatemeh.gh9797 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • sustainable development
  • social equality
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural heritage
  • technological innovation
  • wealth disparity
  • human development index
  • holistic approach
  • quality of life
  • economic prosperity
  • healthcare system
  • education system
  • cultural diversity
  • policy decisions
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