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Writing Samples
Band 6

studies show that many criminals do not receive enough education. For this reason, people believe that the best ways to reduce crime is to educate them so they can find a job after being released. Do you agree or disagree?

#studies #show #criminals #education #reason #people #crime #job
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According to
 surveys, most people who are involved in crimes are unlikely to get enough schooling.
This
 is why some
section
Fix the agreement mistake
sections
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 of society think that giving opportunities
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 study in order for them to get a job after release from
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
prison, is the best solution to reduce serious crime. I partly agree with
this
 statement because educating them can make them behave correctly and allow them to return to society.
However
, it is the case that wrongdoing does not reduce only by
education
.
Firstly
, teaching will encourage criminals to go back to social life. They learn how serious mistakes they made and the right ways of thinking and try to change their minds. Thanks to learning programs, they can be back
to
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into
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 society and get a job without having misdeeds again.
Therefore
, the effects of
education
 are so essential to reduce crimes.
In contrast
, some criminals are likely to happen serious accidents again because the probability of improvement by teaching is limited.
In other words
, prisoners cannot change their principle, which is the most fundamental in their minds.
Education
 will change their superficial ways of thinking but it is difficult to alter their wrong principle to the right way since
such
 belief is formed for a long time and unchanged easily. At
this
 point, decreasing violations will be difficult only through
education
. In conclusion, giving chances to learn again will reduce the rate of crime. I'm partly for the statement because it will urge them to return to social life, but in some cases, criminals, who have firm principles, will make crimes again.
Submitted by hamuami116 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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