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Writing Samples
Band 7

the charts below show household spending patterns in two countries between 1980 and 2008

the charts below show household spending patterns in two countries between 1980 and 2008
#show #household #patterns #two #countries
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The pie charts compare five categories of
household
Use synonyms
 expenditure in the
UK
Use synonyms
 and New
Zealand
Use synonyms
 in the years 1980 and 2008. It is noticeable that the percentage of spending on food and drinks had dropped in
both
Use synonyms
 countries,
while
Linking Words
 the utility bills had increased over the 28-year period.
In addition
Linking Words
, families in the
UK
Use synonyms
 spent a larger amount of their
household
Use synonyms
 budget on entertainment, compared to families in New
Zealand
Use synonyms
. In the year 1980, 29% of the average New
Zealand
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household
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 budget went to food and drink,
while
Linking Words
 the equivalent figure for a
UK
Use synonyms
 home was 23%. By 2008, expenditure on food and drink had fallen by 4% in New
Zealand
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, and by a full 10% in the
UK
Use synonyms
.
On the contrary
Linking Words
,
both
Use synonyms
 countries saw an increase in expenditure on utility bills for the average
household
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, from 27% to 31% in New
Zealand
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 and from 26% to 28% in the
UK
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. Leisure activities accounted for the highest proportion of
UK
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household
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 spending in
both
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 years, 27% in 1980 and 34% in 2008, but only the third highest proportion in New
Zealand
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, 18% in 1980 and 17% in 2008. In
both
Use synonyms
 countries, transports costs and other costs took approximately 15% and 10% respectively.
Submitted by maokaiyi0423 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words household, uk, zealand, both with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "compare" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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