Some people believe that arts (such as painting and music) do not improve people’s life therefore the government should not spend money on it. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #arts #music #people’s #life #government #money

It has long been debated whether the government should devote its resources to the

arts

. Opponents regard

arts

as a complete waste of time and do not improve people’s life,

whereas

proponents argue that

arts

can not only provide entertaining

values

but

also

educational importance. In my viewpoints, I cling to support the latter, and in

this

essay, I will elaborate more detail and provide personal opinions.

To begin

with,

arts

are proven more essential in people’s daily lives. The most iconic example is the movie which requires delicate work, combining story, music and animation altogether, and it has become an excellent platform to deliver the director’s philosophies and Intrinsic

values

. Obviously, the movie provides more

values

beyond its recreational ones.

On the other hand

, researches done by universities and government officials demonstrate that early education in art fields well benefits children’s cognitive abilities

as well as

academic performances. Given that students who had learned in the

arts

field are performing better-structured languages and advanced mathematic abilities.

As a result

, it is undeniable that

arts

give some significant value in the field of education. In conclusion, it is evident that

arts

not merely provide recreational

values

but

also

educational ones

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and the movie is a great example.

Additionally

arts

hold the possibility to enhance kids’ cognitive abilities and academic performances.

Thus

, to me, the field of

arts

is not a total waste of time.

Consequently

, I strongly advocate that the government shall provide more support financially and offer more courses related to both children and adults.

Submitted by aaron.ten.tw on Fri Aug 04 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

256 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that arts (such as painting and music) do not improve people’s life therefore the government should not spend money on it. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Living in a house is more advantageous than living in an apartment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people claim that not enough of the waste from homes is recycled. They say that the only way to increase recycling is for governments to make it a legal requirement. To what extent do you think laws are needed to make people recycle more of their waste?

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In many cities an increasing number of people do not know their neighbors and there is a lack of sense of community. What are the causes of this problem? How can it be solved?