In some countries people of all age groups are engaging in too many sports or over-exercising. Are there more advantages or drawbacks to this development?

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There are 3 advantages to take into consideration that

people

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of all

age

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ranges in many countries are engaging in too many

sports

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and over exercising. The obvious argument in its favour is that exercising and sport can maintain the body of

people

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of all

age

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groups.

This

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due to

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the fact that it can make muscle and movement balance for the body.

For Instance

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people

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who exercise and play

sports

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every day will be stronger and healthier than

people

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who like to eat everything.

As a result

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, they have the best quality of life.

In addition

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sports

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can develop relationships in some

age

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ranges.

This

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is because they can make new relationships with other

sports

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players.

For example

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, many

sports

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have to need many players in one game in which they will interact easily with their teams.

Therefore

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this

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is to create a new society of

people

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Moreover

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, the most important advantage of exercising is that

people

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will have self-esteem and confidence in their bodies.

This

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due to

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the fact that many

people

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lack confidence in the shape of their bodies.

For instance

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, some

people

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are obese and nervous to meet other

people

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while

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exercising can maintain mental health and develop a personality.

As a result

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people

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who exercise will see change in the best way. In conclusion, exercising and playing

sports

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have a lot of benefits but over-exercising can be a problem for the body.

Therefore

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people

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should suitably exercise in relation to

age

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ranges, limit time to play and physical fitness of individuals.

name79sinlapaSun Apr 14 2024

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Introduction & Task Response

Expand and clarify your introduction to explicitly address whether there are more advantages or disadvantages. This will strengthen your task response.

Coherence & Cohesion

Incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases to enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs.

Examples & Task Achievement

While your examples are good, adding more specific data or sources could further strengthen your argument and task achievement.

Content Coverage

Your essay covers several advantages comprehensively, indicating a strong understanding of the topic.

Usage of Examples

Good use of examples to support your points.

Conclusion

Clear conclusion that summarises the essay's main points effectively.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – advantages
Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

The main advantage is...
The disadvantage of this...
The main benefit...
Despite these advantages...
One possible drawback...

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

258 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

physical well-being
healthcare systems
over-exercising
cardiovascular problems
social interaction
community building
fitness-related industries
economic benefits
job creation
consumer spending
mental health issues
anxiety
body image disorders
personal development

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In some countries people of all age groups are engaging in too many sports or over-exercising. Are there more advantages or drawbacks to this development?

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

Doctors recommend that older people exercise regularly. However, many of them do not get enough exercise. What are the reasons? What can be done to encourage them to exercise more?

Some students prefer classes with frequent discussions between the professor and the students with almost no lectures. Other students prefer classes with many lectures and almost no discussions. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?