In some countries people of all age groups are engaging in too many sports or over-exercising. Are there more advantages or drawbacks to this development?
There are 3 advantages to take into consideration that
people
of all age
ranges in many countries are engaging in too many sports
and over exercising.
The obvious argument in its favour is that exercising and sport can maintain the body of people
of all age
groups. This
is due to
the fact that it can make muscle and movement balance for the body. For Instance
, people
who exercise and play sports
every day will be stronger and healthier than people
who like to eat everything. As a result
, they have the best quality of life.
In addition
, sports
can develop relationships in some age
ranges. This
is because they can make new relationships with other sports
players. For example
, many sports
have to need many players in one game in which they will interact easily with their teams. Therefore
, this
is to create a new society of people
.
Moreover
, the most important advantage of exercising is that people
will have self-esteem and confidence in their bodies. This
is due to
the fact that many people
lack confidence in the shape of their bodies. For instance
, some people
are obese and nervous to meet other people
while
exercising can maintain mental health and develop a personality. As a result
, people
who exercise will see change in the best way.
In conclusion, exercising and playing sports
have a lot of benefits but over-exercising can be a problem for the body. Therefore
people
should suitably exercise in relation to age
ranges, limit time to play and physical fitness of individuals.Submitted by name79sinlapa on
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Introduction & Task Response
Expand and clarify your introduction to explicitly address whether there are more advantages or disadvantages. This will strengthen your task response.
Coherence & Cohesion
Incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases to enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
Examples & Task Achievement
While your examples are good, adding more specific data or sources could further strengthen your argument and task achievement.
Content Coverage
Your essay covers several advantages comprehensively, indicating a strong understanding of the topic.
Usage of Examples
Good use of examples to support your points.
Conclusion
Clear conclusion that summarises the essay's main points effectively.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...