IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

new stories on tv and in newspapers are often accompanied by pictures. some people say that these pictures are more effective than words. what is your opinion about this?

#stories #tv #newspapers #pictures #people
There are different ideas about the effectiveness of attaching
pictures
 to new stories on TV and in newspapers. Some individuals, including me, are of the opinion that these
pictures
 are more effective than words. Adding images helps these media to develop clear messages.
This
 means that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the published
data
 are more likely to be professional and consist of detailed
information
.
Therefore
, most public people may find it difficult to understand them and spending more time recognizing these details is essential for them. Some figures
such
 as maps, diagrams, charts and so on have the potential to show trends and changes of a phenomenon at least time and receive messages straightforwardly. Owing to
this
, some people may pursue
information
 a step ahead.
Furthermore
, the visual evidence of the objects has a critical role in
order
 to make
data
 astonishing and eye-catching.
In other words
,
this
information
 without
pictures
 is more likely to be tedious and dull.
Due to
 the fact that people are reluctant to follow them in
this
 manner.
For example
, broadcasting natural diseases or famines in different parts of the world would not be persuasive unless accompanied by visual
data
.
Therefore
, adding
pictures
 can be a fabulous way in
order
 to improve public willingness to media.
However
, imagery
information
 would limit some substantial textual
data
 which is published in these media. These
pictures
 are allocated in some main parts of newspapers and do not let
addition
Replace the word
add
show examples
 more
information
,
also
 it may lead to omitting them. Yet, in my opinion, it is not a good source of inspiration because editors can pass some laws about the numbers and the size of these visual elements in
order
 to not miss the important news. In conclusion, I totally agree with the
pictures
 which accompany the media’s new stories because of the easier way in
order
 to transfer messages and make
data
 glamorous.
Submitted by kargar.mh1992 on

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coherence cohesion
You have provided a well-rounded response to the task with a clear stance, but you can improve coherence by ensuring smoother transitions between ideas.
task achievement
Ensure that all your main points are fully developed with specific examples and detailed explanations to support your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clearly presented, framing your argument well.
task achievement
You have articulated your ideas clearly, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.
task achievement
You have used relevant examples to support your points, which strengthens your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Visuals
  • Textual narratives
  • Comprehension
  • Retention
  • Imagery
  • Evoking emotions
  • Pictorial bias
  • Contextual information
  • Skew understanding
  • Learning styles
  • Memory recall
  • Accessibility
  • Illiteracy
  • Language proficiency
  • Sensationalism
  • Capture the essence
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