IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The presented pie chart illustrates the household spending of Japanese and Malaysian in 2010.

The presented pie chart illustrates the household spending of Japanese and Malaysian in 2010.
#household #japanese #malaysian
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The
dispaly
Correct your spelling
display
 diagram
describe
Change the verb form
describes
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about
Remove the preposition
apply
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the
househol
Correct your spelling
household
 expense of Japanese and Malaysian in 2010. The
dat
Correct your spelling
data
 is on 5 things they are housing, transport, food,
health
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
 and other
goods
Use synonyms
 and services. The data is about the year 2010. The below information
explain
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explains
show examples
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the given pie chart in
detain
Correct your spelling
detail
show examples
. The data is given in %. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Japan,
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
 is
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
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 on Housing is 29% and
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
show examples
 on Food
with
Change preposition
at
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 6%. 21% is
spend
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spent
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 on other
goods
Use synonyms
 and services, 20% on transport and 24% on
health
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care
Use synonyms
.
Then
Linking Words
 Malaysia's
expense
Fix the agreement mistake
expenses
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 more is used for other
goods
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 and service
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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34%. On transport 10%,
on
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apply
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27% on
health
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care
Use synonyms
, 3% on food and 26% on housing. Both
country
Change to a plural noun
countries
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 have used more on house facilities and other. In eating both
nation
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nations
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 have
spend
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spent
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 almost equal.
To conclude
Linking Words
, the about information
explain
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explains
show examples
 about the money used for the House, travelling, Eating,
health
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
 and other
goods
Use synonyms
 and service.
Submitted by purvametaliya99  on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words health, care, goods with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "explain" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 5 times.
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