IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

It has been suggested that primary children should learn how to grow vegatables and keep animals. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

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It is true that knowledge of growing
vegatables
Correct your spelling
vegetables
 and rearing
animals
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 very important for
children
Use synonyms
 to learn.
While
Linking Words
 there are certain negative effects of teaching
children
Use synonyms
 these abilities, I believe that these are outweighed by the advantages. On the one hand, there are some aspects of teaching
younsters
Correct your spelling
youngsters
 to grow vegetation and rear
animals
Use synonyms
. Principally,
children
Use synonyms
 required tremendous sources to learn a particular skill, and placing
children
Use synonyms
 with
animals
Use synonyms
 included a high opportunity to get
injuried
Correct your spelling
injured
. In terms of planting
vegatables
Correct your spelling
vegetables
, the steps are too
intricated
Wrong verb form
intricate
show examples
 which takes a lot of time
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
children
Use synonyms
 to
gget
Correct your spelling
get
 used to
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. It would cause plenty of
wastes
Fix the agreement mistake
waste
show examples
 in
this
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 process. In terms of keeping
animals
Use synonyms
, the unconscious movements
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the
animals
Use synonyms
 would probably harm infants seriously, which is a bit dangerous to learn
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
such
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 young ages.
On the other hand
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,
although
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 there are some inevitable issues, these are not insurmountable problems. Certain advantages could be more
convincable
Correct your spelling
convincible
convince
 for pupils to learn
such
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 abilities.
Firstly
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, getting
children
Use synonyms
 closer to nature can stimulate his interest and his curiosity toward it. Since technology dramatically becomes popular, these extracurriculars are an optimal choice for
children
Use synonyms
 to learn.
Seccondly
Correct your spelling
Secondly
, students who learn
these knowledge
Change the determiner
this knowledge
show examples
 will be more familiar with the natural food chain and its position. Over a period of time, they will be more compassionate
on
Change preposition
about
show examples
 nature disasters with a high opportunity to become a eco-friendly
environmentalism
Replace the word
environmentalist
show examples
. In conclusion, I believe that the
eviteble
Correct your spelling
inevitable
evitable
 disadvantages points could be solved easily,
whereas
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, the
possitive
Correct your spelling
positive
 aspects of growing
vegeetables
Correct your spelling
vegetables
 and rearing
animals
Use synonyms
 are the principal reason to encourage
children
Use synonyms
 to learn.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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