IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Scientists believe that computers will become more intelligent than human beings. Some poeple find it is a positive trend while others think it is a negative development. Discuss both points and give your own opinion.

#scientists #computers #beings #poeple #trend #development #points
Now researchers think that in the future
computers
 can be significantly smarter than humans. Some would argue that
this
 is a big step forward in the electronic day and has a
lot
 of positive benefits. Meanwhile there are some who think
this
 is a negative development. In my opinion, I am neutral On the one hand,
computers
 have a
lot
 of skills and very smart software that helps us humans a
lot
,
such
 as: calculating, storing
information
, data, controlling robots, composing an article, Especially today with the great development, there will be many hackers who steal
information
, so people have created many kinds of security protection
such
 as: face ID, touch ID, ... Previously if we had If we want to calculate or do an essay, we have to write it down for a long time and it is time consuming and inaccurate. Now that
computers
 have evolved it has made it possible for people to do
this
 quickly. Regarding the storage of important documents, we are concerned that the paper will be damaged and not visible later. But now all the important data has been stored on the computer with very high security
On the other hand
 , many people consider it inconvenient and have negative benefits because . Currently, there are many hackers who take advantage of trust to seize property and steal
information
 on
computers
.
This
 is a very worrying problem in the computer industry. They can know all your
information
 and can get your money in your account. With the strong development of
computers
, it means that hackers will increase rapidly. Be a smart user so that we do not have
information
 stolen, fraudulently appropriated property. In my opinion, the fact that
computers
 are smarter than humans and bring many positive benefits, I completely agree. Because it calculates faster than us more accurately it can store a
lot
 of
information
.
Submitted by khoiminhnguyen1411 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Make sure to provide more specific examples and elaborate on your points to fully support your arguments and demonstrate a clear understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks adequate organization and coherence. Make sure to use cohesive devices and transitional words to connect ideas and paragraphs in a more logical manner.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: