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Band 8

The obesity rates among teenagers are increasing. What are the reason and suggest solutions.

#obesity #rates #teenagers #reason
obesity rates among teenagers have been a leading concern in most countries. the upcoming essay will discuss both the reason and the solution to
this
 problem. there are many factors contributing to
this
 problem,
such
 as the practice of eating junk food and living a sedentary life. to illustrate, the majority of youngsters choose to eat out, some by choice and some just to save time and consume foods like burgers, pizza, pasta, carbonated beverages, etc.
As a result
, they are missing the necessary nutrients needed to ensure their sound health and develop lethal diseases like cardiovascular problems and obesity.
In addition
, fewer and fewer adolescents are spending their time outside playing sports or being active
due to
 the booming popularity of video games and
such
. prevention is the best cure in situations like
this
.
For instance
, if the government can include physical activities
such
 as sports, and swimming at school, more teenagers will be active.
furthermore
, the practice of eating organic house-made food can have a huge positive impact on health.
besides
, incentives like "the fitted student will get additional points on their tests" can inspire a young individual into adapting to a healthy lifestyle.
Also
, communities can be built for struggling youth where they can help each other to overcome the habits of obesity and promote the benefits of having a fitted physique.
to conclude
,
although
 changing the mindset of a young age group is extremely difficult if necessary steps are applied effectively, juveniles can be free from the threat of stoutness.
Submitted by xx00 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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