Students perform better in school when they are rewarded rather than punished.

In the era of the new generation, the attainments of

students

have been prioritised in the field of education in connection with the plan for achieving prosperity. It is assumed that

students

prevail and strive at educational levels if they will be encouraged at school, and I partially agree with

this

statement. The objective of

this

essay is to examine whether rewarding

students

at school in order to inspire them could be the best choice or not. On the one hand, punishing

students

is not a contemporary method to make

students

diligent and get rid of indolence in studying.

This

means that

punishment

may be an effective way in the short term for correcting specific behaviours.

For example

, parents have forced children to strive to study using some rough treatment.

Consequently

, there may be some situations where

punishment

can have good consequences.

On the other hand

, positive reinforcement is better for learning than

punishment

This

means that praise, encouragement, and rewards help to build a student's confidence and self-esteem.

For instance

, numerous

students

had done suicide because of

punishment

and quarrels with their parents about student’s academic performance at school.

Consequently

, rewarding admission get used to having high ambitions for academic attainments.

To sum up

, all aforementioned points illustrate that exploiting rewards in order to inspire the student can lead to both positive and negative consequences. As far as I am concerned if motivating and encouraging

students

by rewarding them had not been discussed before, the world would be drowned in death and

punishment

Submitted by arnakaldybai on Sun Aug 06 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

254 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
In some countries, many more people are choosing to live alone nowadays than in the past. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
There are countries where more people are deciding to live by themselves than they did in the past. This essay would argue that this is a positive development because these people’s actions are not restricted by their housemates, and when people live alone, it helps a country’s economy.
5
band
Many university graduates cannot find a job in their chosen profession What factors may have caused this situation and what, in your opinion, should be done about it? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience
Most students cannot apply to job in their own profession after graduate university. In my opinion, the root of this problem caused by higher education system does not give some practical experience and modernization of this should be a good solution.
<4
band
Most people believe that social media such as facebook and instagram negatively impact on society and individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
There is no denying the fact that most people believe that social medai have impact on society. While it is a commonly held belief the impact of instagram and facebook in society , there is also an argument that opposes it . In my opinion , I consider that social media have in desadvandeg and advandeg in our community.To begin with,instagram have been a great way to coumoncate with other people. In other wards, it helps to find new friends and to built relationships with diffirent culture. In addition, when you become a social person that while helps you for example, can makes a great career and sometimes to find a job . Another point to consider the disadvantages of it and it is probably a disaster that affect your life.It is also possible to say that can make other people lost their jobs and lost avrything that.Moreover the possibility of losing your family and friends. For instant, when someone hack your account that while lead to a lot af problemes as I seed may you lost your fa...
5.5
band
In the future, people may no longer be able to pay for things in shops using cash. All payments may have to be made by card or using phones. Do you think this will happen one day? why do you think some people might no be happy to give up using cash?
In the future, people may no longer be able to pay for things in shops using cash. All payments may have to be made by card or using phones.
5.5
band
The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that thebest way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In the contemporary area,it is an irrefutable fact that, there is an exponential surge of the people who are facing the obesity problems, which automatically increases the pressure on health care sector. Some people argued that this issue can be resolved with the introduction of physical courses in the schools. In my opinion, it would definitely work. This essay will analyze my views along with examples in the upcoming paragraphs.

Students perform better in school when they are rewarded rather than punished.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In some countries, many more people are choosing to live alone nowadays than in the past. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Many university graduates cannot find a job in their chosen profession What factors may have caused this situation and what, in your opinion, should be done about it? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Most people believe that social media such as facebook and instagram negatively impact on society and individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In the future, people may no longer be able to pay for things in shops using cash. All payments may have to be made by card or using phones. Do you think this will happen one day? why do you think some people might no be happy to give up using cash?